The Sickest Burns From This Week’s Confirmation Hearings - Culture | MERRY JANE
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The Sickest Burns From This Week’s Confirmation Hearings

Politicians brought that dry heat!

by Claire Downs

What a time to be alive! As we watched the parade of Trump’s cabinet appointees hit the confirmation hearing stage this week, it gave lawmakers a chance to determine how Trumpy they truly are. Would Trump’s picks fall in line with his wall-building, swamp-draining, and registry-forming plans? Or would they go their own way in an attempt to save their future careers and appeal to other people besides Dear Leader Trump?

Though the hearings droned on throughout this week’s more exciting, pee-related revelations, they featured their own form of entertainment: sick burns. The week was filled with Senators giving C-Span the political version of “Really, tho?” and giving dry, deadpan reactions to the appointees’ ridiculous answers. Here were the best moments.

Electricity Isn’t Having It With Mike Pompeo’s Confirmation Hearing

An electrical outage began during CIA Director nominee Mike Pompeo’s hearing just as the word “Russia” was uttered by Senator Mark Warner. This wouldn’t be so creepy, had it not been followed by an interruption by Russian TV on CSPAN1 later that day....

Cory Booker Testifies Against Jeff Sessions

Breaking with Senate norms, Cory Booker unleashed an impassioned testimony against fellow senator Jeff Sessions. A burn in and of itself, the speech is full of brilliant aphorisms and thoughtful words.

Marco Rubio Spars With Rex Tillerson on Putin

With a quavering voice and an oversized lapel, Marco Rubio challenged Secretary of State nominee—and friend of Russia and Putin—Rex Tillerson to acknowledge the Russian leader as a war criminal. The back-and-forth felt like a freshman class president going against the senior class bully, and it’s hard not to feel like Rubio is terrified to challenge Rex. And probably his buddy Poot.

Al Franken Questions Jeff Sessions Definition of “Significant Involvement”

Al Franken’s dry wit is amazing in this clip when he questions Senator Jeff Session’s claim that he was significantly involved in several court cases.

Elizabeth Warren Asks Ben Carson a Simple “Yes or No” Question

Warren asks human yawn Ben Carson, Trump’s pick for Housing and Urban Development Secretary, if he can promise that HUD money will not be given to Trump or his business dealings. When Carson says he can’t, Warren’s reaction is priceless. Assuming the tone of a beleaguered babysitter just trying to make some summer money, Warren basically begs Carson to consider his actions. It’s rough.


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Claire Downs is a writer and comedian based out of Los Angeles. She's written for Nickelodeon, VH1, Funny or Die, and Hello Giggles. You can follow her on Twitter @clairecdowns. She prefers Indica to Sativa, in case you're wondering.



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