Mother’s Day is upon us, marking the beginning of summer’s sunny days with a celebration of the women who gave us life, showed us how to live it, then continue to watch as we fuck it up. But hey, they still love us anyways. While flowers, homemade cards, and cheap boxes of chocolate will always suffice, few are more deserving of the medicinal benefits and overall sense of ahhhhh cannabis provides than this patient, loyal group.
The relationship between cannabis and the average mom has been tenuous at best throughout the past century, but legal strides and the public acceptance of cannabis has opened the arena to new users. Rather than turning to prescriptions or alcohol for relief, which historically has resulted in all kinds of maternal quandary (see: any episode of The Real Housewives), moms are increasingly seeking relief from life’s lemons in the forms of CBD tinctures, vape pens, and edibles.
That’s not to say that all moms are new to cannabis. Growing up in a California hippy town, I’m no stranger to the super stoned mom who always had a batch of fragrant cookies baking, a bong under the sink, and a stash of loose joints of her friend’s homegrown bud in a sock drawer. She’s easy to buy for. But if your mom is anything like my mom — extremely anti-weed until legality lit a spark of curiosity — some guidance will help you pick a proper ganja gift.
As the perception of cannabis transitions from mom’s-worst-nightmare, to mom-tolerated, to mom-keeps-asking-what-CBD-is, there’s never been a better, or more socially acceptable, time to gift some pot for Mother’s Day. Below is a medley of ideas for every mom, on a sliding scale from the canna-curious to the super stoner. Whether your objective is convincing mom that weed isn’t bad, chilling her out, or getting your mom high as fuck, we’ve got you covered.
Whoopi and Maya Lavender Soak
The best way to warm up a previously anti-cannabis mom to the idea of any weed product is telling her Whoopi Goldberg made it. The second best is assuring her it won’t get her too stoned. In the case of Whoopi and Maya’s Lavender Soak, both of these statements are true.
Relax your needlessly uptight mom with this beautiful CBD/THC epsom salt bath soak. Alone, epsom salts contain healing compounds like sulfate and magnesium, which help with joint, muscle, and nerve functioning. When mixed with cannabis, nourishing oils like apricot and avocado, and vitamin E, as well as the fragrant lavender and jojoba oils, you have one hell of a bath.
Shiny hair, smooth skin, and a relaxed state free from aches, pains, or worry is what your mom really wants for Mother’s Day, whether she knows she’s down with weed yet or not.
Mary’s Medicinals 1:1 Transdermal Compound
As we get older, unfortunately, so do our moms. Don’t let time tarnish the Wonder Woman of your youth with health-related maladies. For any mom in pain, whether it be a bad knee, carpal tunnel, or, god forbid, something more serious, Mary’s Medicinals Transdermal Compound is the look.
While most topicals work by reacting with the endocannabinoid receptors on skin cells, transdermals go a step further, penetrating the blood stream for more intense, full-body relief. Usually found in patch-form, this transdermal salve offers a 100mg blend of THC and CBD, going beneath the dermis to treat more intense pains like that of nerve, arthritis, and joint.
Bae Luxe Vapour Pen
Arguably the most feminine weed product I’ve ever encountered, the Bae Pen is a perfect inaugural vape for an inquisitive mom caught on the fence.
The Bae Luxe Vapour Pen is made for women, by women, lending itself to the discretion and simplicity sought by this kind of customer. This Strawberry Shortcake 3:1 CBD pen, (a ratio of three parts CBD to one part THC), comes ready to use out of the box. Its soft rose gold finish, with an even softer, sweeter high, won’t disappoint mom; this is a seamless, delicious, and elegant gift for moms with good taste.
Sunday Scaries CBD Flight
To moms, the concept of CBD is as elusive as it is intriguing. Conversations sparked by CBD’s reign in the current cultural zeitgeist manifest in strings of questions after two glasses of chardonnay: Is it weed? Does it get you high? Do you know how I can get any?
If your mom has expressed interest in CBD, hit her with Sunday Scaries CBD Flight. Containing a bottle of their regular CBD gummies, vegan CBD gummies, and a pure CBD tincture, these full spectrum products will calm nerves, as well as mom’s latent desire to check out what everyone’s raving about when it comes to CBD. Enter “MERRY10” at checkout and save 10% off your order.
Orchid Essentials Jack Herer Pen
If your mom is down with dank — meaning she doesn’t need any convincing and wants something that will get her stoned AF without the hassle of actually smoking flower — this is the pen for her.
Gone are the days of vape pens producing a bleary head high without the gusto you feel after puffing on flower. With the Jack Herer Pen, Orchid Essentials has created a vape that not only tastes incredible and hits like a boss, but gets you as high as a blunt does. These 1 gram cartridges boast 65.8% THC, and pack enough power for one hit to get you high for hours. Strong and discrete, the complex flavor and OG strain will impress your stoner mom, who, if she’s old school, probably has reservations about vapes in the first place.
Chronic Desserts 1000mg Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix
Unless your mom is an epic-level stoner, meaning she can take a bong snap and not cough, than this gift is not for her. But for those special, wild women who hold it down while high as fuck, we have the ultimate Mother’s Day pot present.
Chronic Desserts has turned Betty Crocker the fuck out with this 1000mg Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix. By simply adding half a cup of butter and one egg, your cool mom will have a 1000mg tray of cookies on her hands — roughly 83mg of THC per treat, if divided into 12 servings.
Whether you make them for her, or better yet, gift the mix and make them together, your stoner mom will undoubtedly be stoked as fuck about this modern take on a patriarchal classic. It’s a new world out there. Get high together.
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