Life Hacks for When You Get Too High
You wanted to be at a 4 but you’re at an 11. Now what?
Published on September 14, 2016

We’ve all been there: that moment when you’ve gone being “really high,” to “really, really high,” to “OMFG, the walls are melting and I think I’m going to die of the world’s first pot OD.” Yep, you’re too damn high. Whether you messed up your edible dosage or overestimated your tolerance, it happens to the best of us and it’s uncomfortable AF. Dark thoughts, racing heart, paranoia, nausea, and totally freaking out all accompany the rare but sometimes traumatic effects of excessive THC consumption. So take a deep breath, and let’s do this in steps, because trust us, this feeling won’t last forever. 

1. Take deep, calming breaths.

The simplest, most important “hack” anyone can give you is to do like Frankie Goes to Hollywood says and “Relax!” A lot the symptoms of feeling “too high” are exacerbated by indulging in the dark thoughts, short breaths, and paranoia that consuming too much THC can hand you. Remember: No one in history has ever overdosed from cannabis consumption. So take some deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Get physically comfortable. Know that nothing that is going on is actually harming you, and it’s just a temporary discomfort. In fact, all of this will be over between two to three hours if you inhaled it or four to six hours if you ate it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Drink lemonade.

One of the few ways known to moderate a high is through a terpene found in lemons, called limonene. Limonene was used as an antidote for cannabis in North Africa, and both the plant and the antidote were brought to the UK by Sir Robert Christison, a Scottish doctor and toxicologist. According to Christison, the perfect anti-high concoction must be fresh-squeezed and include some of the peel in order for it to take full effect. And besides, what better way to take your mind off of feeling overwhelmed than by stirring up some sugary goodness!

3. Chew black pepper.

Neil Young has cited chewing black pepper as his go-to high hack, and it has scientific merit. According to a scientific review in the British Journal of Pharmacology, cannabis and black pepper have a similar effect due to their terpenes. Black pepper contains the terpene beta-caryophyllene, and when combined with marijuana, they bind to the same receptors in the brain and produce a calming sensation. So, if you can overcome your couch-lock long enough to head to the kitchen, chew a couple balls of black pepper. Just don’t forget to rinse with lots of water—you should be actively hydrating anyway.

4. Put your face in mayonnaise. (Kind of.)

In a 2013 Reddit AMA, Snoop fielded the following question from a Redditor: “High as fuck right now, Mr. Lion. What should I do?” His sage advice advice: “Put your face in mayonnaise.” While that answer makes me laugh for a variety of reasons, he’s not far off. One of the most important things to do while at an 11 is to be nice to yourself, and part of doing that might include indulging in some at-home spa treatments. Take a hot, steamy shower and use the bathroom as a personal steam room. Mayonnaise masks are indeed a longstanding home beauty tradition, but easier, less sandwich-y facial masks can be ordered online and they’re chill AF (especially if you put them in the fridge for 10 minutes beforehand). Faves include the My Beauty Diary Black Pearl Mask and the TonyMoly I’m Real Mask in Aloe. Guys, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it—Bieber, Chris Pratt, and Diddy all have. Tip: Don’t look at yourself in the mirror while wearing one of these. It might be too scary if you’re out of your head.

    Backstage @Letterman I'm wearing this creepy mask because it will make me look more radiant? #Baller #guardiansofthegalaxy
A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Jul 29, 2014 at 1:43pm PDT
Claire Downs
Claire Downs is a writer and comedian based out of Los Angeles. She's written for Nickelodeon, VH1, Funny or Die, and Hello Giggles. You can follow her on Twitter @clairecdowns. She prefers Indica to Sativa, in case you're wondering.
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