The US Government Is Looking for Pro Joint Rollers. Again.
The National Institute of Drug Abuse needs joints, and lots of them. Purely for research purposes, of course.
Published on April 3, 2019

On Tuesday, the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA) announced it was seeking a private contractor to roll “marijuana cigarettes” for ongoing research projects.

Unfortunately, the feds aren’t looking for just any pothead to twist some fatties. According to NIDA’s listing, they want seasoned individuals with analytical chemistry experience, experience manufacturing cigarettes (tobacco or otherwise), access to a facility that can securely store the weed, and a clean record for Schedule I licensing clearances.

That may seem like a lot for such a simple task. However, there’s still hope for aspiring government weed rollers who don’t own a pharmaceutical lab.

Gallery — The Worlds Shittiest Blunts:

“The listing doesn’t mention whether personal, as opposed to professional, experience qualifies an individual for the contract,” wrote Kyle Jaeger at Marijuana Moment.

The listing also doesn’t mention mandatory drug testing.

NIDA’s newest job posting marks the second time the agency made a call-out for professional joint rollers. Last year, the organization posted a similar listing, presumably with little to no success.

For the average toker seeking a full-time joint-rolling position, consider hitting up Waka Flocka Flame. In 2015, the rapper offered $50,000 a year for someone to be his full-time blunt roller. 

And for more, revisit our episode of "How We Roll," where adult film star Janice Griffith teaches you how to roll a blunt... nude!

Randy Robinson
Based in Denver, Randy studied cannabinoid science while getting a degree in molecular biology at the University of Colorado. When not writing about cannabis, science, politics, or LGBT issues, they can be found exploring nature somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. Catch Randy on Twitter and Instagram @randieseljay
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