Synthetic marijuana is not having a good month. First it was the Times Square car crash, where a man high on ‘K2’ turned Midtown Manhattan into a scene from Grand Theft Auto and left a woman dead in his wake. Now, less than two weeks later, a man in Birmingham, England used a kitchen knife to chop off his own nose after smoking ‘Black Mamba’ brand synthetic weed.

According to the Sun, the man used the kitchen knife to slice up other parts of his body as well, requiring two cops to spend 30 minutes trying to stop the bleeding and four extra officers to carry him downstairs to a waiting ambulance. One cop on the scene described the event as “a bloodbath” and the most gruesome scene he’s encountered in 26 years of police service.

Psychotic breakdowns like the one that led to the amateur amputation are common with synthetic marijuana, and yet, for some strange reason, we still put ‘marijuana’ in the name. It’s about time we start calling K2 and Black Mamba what they really are – bath salts. 

Sure, you can smoke the stuff, and it’s advertised as a THC chemical copycat, but it’s also illegal and drives people to chop off their nose, so why should we care what it’s advertised as? The plant matter you smoke doesn’t get you high, it’s the chemicals mixed into it, and those are the same chemicals that caused cannibal chaos in Florida under the name bath salts. 

So while the British man will make a full recovery – with a pretty good shot at playing Voldemort if they ever greenlight a Harry Potter reboot – the next time someone takes off their seatbelt and jumps off a rollercoaster mid-loop or starts chiffonading their nostrils, let’s just say they were high on bath salts and leave weed out of it, okay?