Pet Raccoon Eats Shit Tons of Weed, Sleeps Off High at Local Firehouse
The trash bandit got a little too excited for this year’s 4/20, but luckily the on-duty firefighters did not pursue the matter past assuring the animal’s safety.
Published on April 20, 2018

Firefighters in Wayne County, Indiana added a new twist on the classic cat-stuck-in-a-tree trope last week, when a group of sleeping smokejumpers woke up in the middle of the night to a local pet owner with a too-stoned raccoon at their door, seeking guidance from the first responders.

According to the Washington Post, the firefighters responded to frantic rings of the firehouse doorbell at two in the morning to find a local woman holding what fire department spokesman Michael Pruitt described as a "lethargic" pet raccoon.

After the bewilderment eventually subsided, the woman told the firefighters that the raccoon had gotten into "someone else's pot" and was so stoned that she thought it might overdose. Luckily, animals (like humans) would need to consume impossible amounts of cannabis before the plant could kill you, leaving firefighters and the pet owner with few options but to wait out the weed.

"We typically love to help, especially when it comes to animals. We have a lot of animal lovers in the fire service," Pruitt told the Washington Post. "But in this case, they just recommended, 'Hey, the raccoon is going to have to sleep it off.'"

In an act of kindness that once again secured firefighters as our favorite emergency personnel, the on-duty staff did not ask the woman for her name or pursue the matter past assuring the animal's safety.

"We're not in the business of policing who has permits for their animals and who does not," Pruitt told the Post. "We do not expect her or the raccoon to come out of the woodwork to claim credit for the story."

For pet owners around the country, America's green rush has had significant benefits effects for sick and injured four-legged friends. But while a number of scientific studies and veterinarians have reported the benefits of treating pets with non-psychoactive CBD, most animal experts are quick to warn against giving dogs, cats, and even masked trash bandits full-strength, THC-laden pot.

Because the herbivor raccoon has remained anonymous, we still don't have an update on the rascal's health, but in this case, we're guessing that no news is good news. Still, that didn't stop the Wayne County Fire Department from posting the story on their Facebook page and reveling in 15 minutes of viral fame.

After all, in small town Indiana, a stoned raccoon causing four-alarm mayhem at the local firehouse just days before 4/20 is something to tell your grandkids about for decades to come.

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Zach Harris
Zach Harris is a writer based in Philadelphia whose work has appeared on Noisey, First We Feast, and Jenkem Magazine. You can find him on Twitter @10000youtubes complaining about NBA referees.
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