Police in the southern Minnesota town of Searles were alerted to the home of Debra Lynn and Duane Johnson (no, not Dwayne Johnson) last week, where they discovered Debra Lynn’s deceased body, and the remnants of what Mr. Johnson called a “death party” — complete with sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. And no, the lead image of this article does not depict the events in question. But Anton Levy likely wouldn’t be mad at this news oddity. 

According to a report from the Mankato Free Press, Debra Lynn Johnson was terminally ill, and had been living in a local nursing home before her husband checked her out of the facility and took her home, despite doctors’ requests that she remain under their care. Duane Johnson later told police that his wife had insisted he remove her from the treatment center so that she could spend her final hours elsewhere. 

Once out of the nursing home, Mr. Johnson later told law enforcement that he and his wife had returned home to throw the “death party,” where they consumed methamphetamine, listened to her favorite song — Quiet Riot’s “Metal Health” — and had sex. 

On Thursday of last week, Mr. Johnson phoned local authorities and told them that his wife had passed away. 

When officers arrived at the home, they found the words “Death Parde God Hell” spray painted in red on the front door, as well as Mrs. Johnson’s body wrapped in a sheet at the top of the stairs, and Mr. Johnson, naked, scrubbing himself with bleach and soap.

In addition to the gruesomely bizzare scene, police say they discovered a cache of 47 firearms belonging to Mr. Johnson, many of which were stolen. Police then arrested Mr. Johnson and charged him with felony counts of theft and receiving stolen property. 

Apparently, throwing a “death party” doesn’t come with its own criminal charges.

And frankly, if the final fiesta really was Debra Lynn’s final wish, there’s something to be said for the sweetness of her husband’s compliance. Of course, if every bit of her final days weren’t voluntary, this is undoubtedly one of the creepiest stories we’ve heard in a while. We’re really, really hoping for the former.

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