How to Ask Out the 420-Friendly Fox on Tinder
How do you go from ogling a stoner babe’s profile to scoring a date? We spoke to a number of cannabis-friendly dating experts to help assist your search for a pot-loving partner.
Published on July 26, 2017

As a single lady, I’ve noticed that a lot of people list their height on their Tinder profile. Sure, this matters to some. However, there’s one addition to a dating app profile that’s more crucial information than height, horoscope sign, or Myers-Briggs personality types: “420-friendly.” 

“When you meet someone new, and you already know they're cool with cannabis, you are way ahead of the game,” says Molly Peckler, CEO of Highly Devoted, a cannabis-friendly matchmaking and consulting firm. “You don't have to worry about being judged for being true to yourself, and finding someone who blows off steam the same way you do is incredibly important when it comes to long-term compatibility.”

So how do you go from ogling the stoner babe’s profile while eating nachos on your couch as 30 Rock reruns play to scoring a date? Well, you’re going to have to ask them out, and thankfully they’ve already given you the perfect prompt. As a cannabis enthusiast and dating app dabbler, I’ve experienced the, well, highs and lows of trying to woo a pot-friendly partner. Based on my experience and others, I’ve gathered some tips and pieces of advice to help enhance your THC Tinder navigation. Let’s begin with your opening line. 

Breaking The Ice

When I match with someone I’m drawn to at first swipe, my initial message is usually a general “Hey, how was your weekend?” coupled with a flower emoji (I give flowers to all genders) to kick things off. When the match has “420-friendly” in their profile, bonus points for making that flower your weed emoji of choice: the cute green sprout, the Canadian red leaf, or the pineapple. 

Once your match responds, keep the conversation flowing with weed-related questions, advises sex and cannabis educator Ashley Manta, the creator of CannaSexual. “I tend to open with a question like ‘Do you prefer smoking, vaping, or edibles?’ or ‘If you could have a strain based on your personality, what would it be called and what would the effects be?’” I also find that simply asking someone their strain of choice provides great insight. After you’ve shared that you’re a Grand Daddy Purp aficionado and learned that they’re more of a Sour Diesel fanatic (you can balance one another out!) go ahead and ask them on a date. When you’ve vibed with someone, you don’t need to spend weeks messaging. No one likes that. We’re all here to get laid and/or begin a beautiful relationship, let’s be real.

Manta says that often she’ll just cut to the chase and text, "I love that you're 420-friendly! Want to sesh sometime?" Recently, a 420-friendly hottie asked me out in this manner with a suggestion of walking along the Brooklyn waterfront. Obviously, I said yes. I’d share screenshots, but part of being a decent person, as Goddess Mary Jane would want us to be, is not violating your partner’s privacy. When asking out a stoner, the universal dating app rules apply: Don’t be an ass. Treat everyone with respect and how you would want to be treated. 

First Date Ideas

My match’s suggestion to smoke along the waterfront was an ideal first date suggestion. It’s the equivalent of asking someone out for a drink. If the smoke sesh goes well, you can continue the night by asking, “Would you like to grab some dinner?” Outdoor first dates work anywhere in the country for horny stoners, but are especially useful in non-legal states. If you’re worried about the po-po, opt for a discrete method of intake such as a vape pen or edibles (but watch that dosage).

Lucky ducks who live in legal states such as California have more options. Peckler of Highly Devoted suggests a farmer’s market like the Emerald Exchange, cannabis yoga, or Dank Canvas for medicated painting. Just don’t be selfish when it comes to getting stoned. Rather than show up high AF, Peckler suggests arriving sober with a vape pen or joint in hand ready to share. “There is no quicker way to forge a bond than an intimate smoke sesh. If the date ends up sucking, at least you'll be high!” she says. If the first goes well (and my instincts say yours will) and all parties are stoned, fed, and happy — ask your new friend if you can kiss them goodnight and enjoy the holiness that is a high first kiss. And yes, if everyone consents, you’re allowed to bone down on the first date.

Now Let’s Talk About Sex

Whenever you’re ready, be it after the first date, the third, or the 10th (the best stoners are understanding, and that means respecting your date’s sexual desires and boundaries) it’s time to get it on. Stoned sex is the best sex. After I’ve gone out with someone a few times and trust them enough to let them inside my apartment and body, I’ll invite them over for dinner at my place, enhanced by cannabis. If you’re feeling lazy (stoners have a bad rap regarding laziness, but Netflix and chill is a staple for a reason) ask them over for delivery and a movie. 

Or, if you really want to impress them, offer to cook a romantic meal (if you use canna butter, just be mindful of dosing). Studies suggest that cannabis increases blood flow to the brain and thus the genitals, which explains why stoned sex is so hot. Cannabis can also reduce negative bias in our emotional processing, thus aiding us when it comes to bonding and intimacy. While it’s easy to simply associate sex with orgasms, the hottest sex occurs when you feel an intellectual or emotional connection with someone. Such bonding can take place in casual relationships, as well as those with long-term romantic potential. I find that when my partner and I are high during sex, I’m more mindful of their touch, desires, and my own pleasure is enhanced. A post-orgasm smoke sesh can also boost connection during pillow talk.

Where to Go from Here? 

So swipe right when you see “420-friendly,” flirt through weed-themed messages, and then ask the canna-babe out for a smoke sesh. Even if you only created a Tinder account to get laid, you may find yourself forging meaningful connections you want to maintain. While plenty of people love weed (the majority of Americans have smoked marijuana) if you’re a few dates and orgasms in with a fellow stoner, it’s likely a sign that you’re a compatible couple.

“In my experience, cannabis enthusiasts tend to be more laid back, self-aware, and open-minded,” CannaSexual’s Ashley Manta adds. “I use cannabis to help facilitate difficult conversations, take care of my body and mind, and connect intimately with my partners. Having partners who can meet me in that space is crucial.” We couldn’t agree more. 

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Sophie Saint Thomas
Sophie Saint Thomas is a writer based in Brooklyn. She was raised in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along with Merry Jane, her writing has been published in VICE, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Playboy, GQ, Harper's Bazaar and more. Brooklyn Magazine included her on their annual 2016 30 Under 30 Envy List. Her favorite strain of weed is Grand Daddy Purp.
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