CULTURE
A Do’s and Don’ts Guide for Preventing Bud Buzzkills in the Bedroom
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From dry mouth and “cottonpussy,” to miscommunication issues and dizziness, the complications of mixing cannabis and coitus are myriad — though they can be prevented if you follow these tips.
Published on March 25, 2020

It’s no secret that sex and cannabis make a mighty match. The plant can increase your body’s sensitivity, and many users report feeling hornier and less inhibited after getting high. Those with trauma histories and sexual dysfunction often turn to cannabis, which can calm the nerves, help people connect with their bodies, and even aid with painful sex

While the benefits of stoned sex are plentiful, there are unfortunately some downsides that can arise. From dry mouth and “cottonpussy,” to miscommunication issues and dizziness, the complications of adding bud to the bedroom are myriad — though they can be prevented and alleviated if you know your stuff. So, here are some do’s and don’ts to consider before you dive into your next 420-filled fuckfest.

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DO: Stay Hydrated (with more than just water!)

One of the most common side effects of cannabis consumption, particularly with smoking or vaping, is xerostomia, more commonly referred to as dry mouth. “When THC binds to the submandibular gland receptors, the gland stops getting signals from the nervous system to make saliva,” medical cannabis expert Dr. Caroline Hartridge told MERRY JANE. “Additionally, the receptors in the brain are bound by THC, and the production of saliva is decreased further.” 

It’s pretty frustrating when you’re trying to go down on your partner and realize your mouth is drier than the Sahara. Dr. Hartridge recommends staying “well hydrated with water or a natural electrolyte fluid of your choice.” Oftentimes, water isn’t enough to completely get you salivating again (although it does help with hydrating your whole body), so things like coconut water, honey water, or fresh juice are great to keep around. Also, don’t be afraid to keep hydrating during sex! There’s nothing wrong with a quick water break before diving right back in.

DON’T: Panic If You're Not Getting That Wet 

Just like cannabis causes dry mouth, it can also inhibit vaginal lubrication. Both the inside of the mouth and the vaginal canal are absorbent mucus membranes that feel the effects of xerostomia, so don’t feel embarrassed about not getting as wet as you normally do when you’re stoned. It’s completely normal, and it doesn’t have anything to do with how turned on you actually are. 

To combat the effects of cottonpussy, doing some kegel exercises can help remoisten the mucus membrane, just like moving your mouth and swallowing can help with cottonmouth. Ashley Manta, award-winning sex coach and creator of CannaSexual, recommended the following to MERRY JANE readers: “Use lube! For marathon sex, I like silicone lube,” her favorite brand being Sliquid Silver. A silicone lube is going to last longer because your body isn’t absorbing it like it does with something water-based, but keep in mind that you’ll want to be careful not to ingest any silicone lube orally. 

For a water-based alternative that is safe for oral consumption, I like Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked lube, which is completely glycerin-free because no pussy has a sweet tooth.

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DO: Experiment with Non-Psychoactive Products 

Although cannabis can make sex feel really, really good, being too high can sometimes make it a little more difficult to have an orgasm. In cases like these, Manta recommended “using non-intoxicating methods, like applying Foria [weed-infused intimacy oil] to the genitals. This oil, designed for vulvas, can help enhance sensation and decrease discomfort, without causing the user to feel high.” 

CBD-only products like lubes, massage oils, tinctures, and even flower are designed to calm your body while awakening your senses, rather than get you higher than a kite. “The idea is not to get stoned — you want to amplify your sensual experience,” said Manta.

DON’T: Move Too Quickly

Even if you’re an experienced stoner with a good understanding of your personal tolerance, it’s a wise choice to take things slowly with stoned sex. “It's up to each individual to safely, and slowly, experiment with various methods of intake and cannabis to learn what's best for them,” said Sophie Saint Thomas, author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care and the “Stoned Sex” columnist here at MERRY JANE. 

It’s probably not the best idea to eat a large amount of a new edible or smoke an unfamiliar strain right before getting frisky. When figuring out dosing, Manta suggested consuming “less than 15 percent THC in your inhalable product, or less than 5mg THC in your edible.” On average, most bud bought in legal states range from 17 to 28 percent THC, so check the product’s label, if it has one. 

Also, don’t be afraid to take things really slowly by smoking, vaping, or eating your cannabis first, waiting for the effects to kick in, then escalating things to the bedroom once everyone feels comfortable and ready.

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DO: Check In and Take Breaks 

If you find that you’re getting too foggy to enjoy the action, communicate how you’re feeling to your partner, and ask for what you need. Try not to worry about killing the mood, either. 

“If you find yourself too high, the mood is no longer relevant,” said Manta. Sex can only be enjoyable and fulfilling when you feel comfortable, so trying to push through a bad high will only make things worse, causing feelings like insecurity and inadequacy to flare up. “Using grounding techniques like deep breathing, smelling lavender essential oil, listening to soothing music, and getting a hug for at least 20 seconds” can all help, adds the CannaSexual. Honestly, we all could probably use some of that even during sober sex.

Additionally, Dr. Hartridge recommends “keeping some pure CBD on hand” to counteract the effects of THC if you do get too high. 

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DON’T: Focus Too Hard on Finishing 

While I am a proponent of closing the orgasm gap, I’m an even bigger supporter of closing the pleasure gap. “Enjoy the pleasure you experience and don't put too much weight on an orgasm,” noted Sophie Saint Thomas. If you’re only having sex to have an orgasm, you’re probably missing so many enjoyable bits along the way, especially when it comes to high sex! “Use your senses, which cannabis can heighten, to anchor you in the now,” she added. 

Dr. Hartridge commented that, “Sex is like yoga: If you are present and breathing, you are winning! Stop focusing on the orgasm, and try to be present. Breathe. Feel all the sensations. Pleasure can be found along the journey.” So much of sex happens in the brain, so the more pressure you put on yourself to cum, the less likely it is going to happen.

DO: Talk About Sex When You're Not High

One of the biggest pitfalls for some cannabis consumers is paranoia, even when you’re not having sex. Considering that it’s normal for folks to feel some nervousness before sober sex, adding cannabis to the mix can potentially exacerbate those feelings.

“Talk about sex when you are not having sex — if you get into your head, sometimes it can feel like too much pressure to talk while naked and high. So don’t,” recommended Dr. Hartridge. “Set aside some time to talk about intimacy. Journal your goals and fears. Share openly with your partner(s).” 

Open communication is easily one of the most important elements in a healthy and happy sex life. It’s incredibly important to be able to level with your partner(s) and tell them how they can best meet your needs and desires. .Chances are they actually want to learn the perfect formula for giving you all the pleasure and security you need to feel fulfilled.

Ultimately, cannabis is supposed to enhance your sexual experience, not inhibit it. There are so many ways to address and prevent those pesky buzzkills that there’s no reason high sex can’t be some of the best sex of your life! With repeated, intentional use, experimentation, and open communication, you’ll surely figure out exactly what works for you when getting saucy and stoned. Now be safe, and check out our past “Stoned Sex” columns for more on incorporating bud into the bedroom.

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Cory B.
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Cory B. (she/they) is a sex educator, kink coach, and cannabis advocate. She is the co-host of "Never Have I Ever," a podcast about safe, compassionate sexual and kinky exploration, and has been working in the sexuality field for three years. She is a firm believer that cannabis can be used to not only enhance peoples’ sex lives, but also heal them. Follow her on Instagram @misscoryb and check out her website misscoryb.com
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