Every week, thousands of songs come out on the internet. Most are terrible, some are OK, and a few of them are actually good. What binds all of these songs together, however, is that I listen to all of them. Without further adieu, I present to you the ten best songs of all the songs that have come out in the past week-ish.

Wu-Tang Clan – "People Say"

I'm a sucker for basically everything about this song: the soul sample, the fact that a quorum of Wu-Tang members (including Masta Killa!) have formed like Voltron and managed to do an entire song together, the fact that Redman's on here too, etc. Even if this song sucked, I would still love it.

Crafteon – "What the Moon Brings"

Sure, H.P. Lovecraft was both a total nerd and pretty, ahem, ~problematique~ once you loaded him up full of absinthe and asked him for his thoughts on pretty much whatever, but you'd be lying if you said he didn't inspire a shit-ton of super-badass dork-metal. Enter Crafteon and "What the Moon Brings," whose only intelligible lyric is the guy singing "FROM THE DEPTHSSSSSSSS" with all the intensity of a man whose toes are getting tickled by a dragon.

John Carpenter – "From the Mouth of Madness"

Speaking of pocket-protector prog, if you've never listened to a John Carpenter soundtrack for its aesthetic value, you actually don't count as a dweeb and the universe will punish you by making you actually talk to people in public. Anyways, you're about to get a chance to rectify that, because Sacred Bones just announced that the king of creep himself has re-recorded a bunch of music from his films, and the whole shebang's gonna come out on October 20. Until then, listen to this synth-metal jammer that served as the theme song for 1994's In the Mouth of Madness.

Chris Eggleton – "Tradewinds 2A"

The Belgian label Pacific City Sound Visions somehow found an extremely sick synthed-out soundtrack to a movie about windsurfing, which, if you don't understand why it'd be fun to listen to a nautical version of the Top Gun soundtrack, then you're obviously no fun.

Stacian – "Telephonix"

If you couldn't tell, the official curators of the MERRY JANE music column (aka me), have been on a huge synth kick lately. It's fun as shit to smoke a doob, put tracks like Stacian's "Telephonix" on, close your eyes, and imagine that you're taking a journey through outer space. Or in this case, you could open your eyes and watch the music video, which is even trippier.

Wiki – "Mayor"

Duuuuuuuuude, you gotta listen to the new Wiki album. That is all.

Mr. Muthafuckin' eXquire f. Meyhem Lauren – "Bebop and Rocksteady"

Relax and take notes on the timeless art of smooth shit-talk from two of New York's finest.

Kazuhiko Yamahira & The Sherman – "Sotto Futari De"

More than anything else, I'm including this mini-opus from Japanese group Kazuhiko Yamashira & The Sherman in this roundup just to remind myself to pre-order Even a Tree Can Shed Tears: Japanese Folk & Rock, 1969-1973, the compilation this track will appear on.

Superpitcher – "Tuesday Paris Texas"

I am a wholehearted supporter of any and all fifteen-minute cowboy psych-tech tracks, especially ones whose titles reference Harry Dean Stanton.

Fabio Monesi – "Ancient Gate"

Sure, I'm down to bliss out at the $50-just-for-the-coat-check club as much as the next guy, but for my money there's nothing better than losing your shit to some spazzed-out armpit-farts in a warehouse that's so humid that you can't even do drugs in it. It's purer when the music's actually good, anyways.

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