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Buzz Kill: Washington D.C. High School Bans All Baked Goods on 4/20

Apparently, the principal assumes that any sweets made with flour and sugar will also be infused with copious amounts of cannabis on this high holiday.

by Zach Harris

Parents packing lunches for students at Wilson High School in Northwest Washington D.C. might want to leave dessert out of today's brown bag.

To try and curb on-campus marijuana use at the public school this 4/20, principal Kim Martin has issued a school-wide moratorium on all baked goods, according to NBC Washington. Apparently, the administrator assumes that anything made with flour and sugar will also be infused with copious amounts of cannabis on this high holiday.

"We suspect that Friday, 4/20 will be another day of risk-taking for our students," principal Martin wrote in a letter to the school community. "'Four-twenty' (4/20) is a globally recognized day in cannabis culture, and is often a day when students over-use marijuana."

Martin's letter specifically noted that students would not be allowed to bring "large quantities of brownies, cookies, or cupcakes" to campus for the entire week of 4/20, but did not say anything about gummy candies, chocolate bars, or Rice Krispie Treats — all which could, technically, be used as vehicles for edible marijuana consumption.

The Betty Crocker ban may seem like arbitrary overkill, but according to principal Martin, the tactic is a response to a specific incident at the school earlier this year, when multiple students needed medical attention after ingesting strong cannabis edibles.

Still, as soon as the news got out that the D.C. students wouldn't be able to have their cake and eat it, too, social media comedians jumped on the story with their best baked goods jokes.

Not to worry, though. If students are in desperate need of a tray of birthday party cupcakes or what have you, Wilson High School will allow parents to make special arrangements to bring baked goods on school property without raising any sativa-related suspicions.

Follow Zach Harris on Twitter


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Zach Harris is a writer based in Philadelphia whose work has appeared on Noisey, First We Feast, and Jenkem Magazine. You can find him on Twitter @10000youtubes complaining about NBA referees.



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