Cannabis delivery services in Washington, DC reported a frantic run on marijuana products in the days leading up to last night’s election.
That checks out. But DC’s pain-in-the-ass weed law prohibits people from directly purchasing weed. So, people get around that by buying a random product from a seller who tosses in some bud as a bonus.
As the election loomed, several “non-cannabis” delivery services reported soaring sales of random goods. Ahem.
District Derp is one such business that experienced a spike in sales. DD is an online art gallery that gifts green with every piece of art sold. Christopher Licata, Derp’s co-founder, said revenue began building momentum in mid-October and then exploded 36.6 percent in the week leading up to November 3.
Another delivery firm, Dreamy DC, is a registered talent agency that peddles “high quality” motivational speeches. You technically pay for a speech and get marijuana as an extra feature. The longer the speech you buy, the more pot you get. Dreamy reported an eight percent uptick in overall sales this week and an 18 percent increase in speech length.
“It was like, ‘Oh, shoot! The debate is coming up! I need a speech that will calm me down!’” a Dream DC rep said. “It’s kind of like when Game of Thrones was going on — we would have a lot of speeches [going out] Sunday at around 8 o’clock.”
Top Secret, a dispensary that sells little-known facts about the District of Columbia, said the company’s web traffic doubled and customers specifically voiced concern about having enough weed on hand should violence ensue following the vote tallies.
“People don’t want to go out,” a Top Secret rep said. “They’re hoping they can sit at home to Netflix and chill.”
Or, you know, maybe they’re aiming to ride out a Trump-spawned apocalypse and chill. Weed does make everything more bearable.