Supremely Deadlocked in the Highest Court - News | MERRY JANE
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Supremely Deadlocked in the Highest Court

The supreme court keeps deadlocking on important issues—and Republicans couldn’t be happier.

by Tim Baker

by Tim Baker

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, and Brezhnev are riding together on a train. Suddenly, the train stops.

Lenin opens the window and declares "We must organize the workers to build more tracks for the common good!" Time passes, nothing happens.

Stalin says "Silly Vovochka, this won't work." He opens the window and yells "If this train doesn't move immediately, the conductor and all the mechanics will be put against the wall and shot." Again, time passes and nothing happens.

Khrushchev then announces "Both of you are wrong." He yells out "Quickly, tovarishi, dismantle the tracks behind the train and assemble them in front, so we can move forward." Once again, nothing happens.

Brezhnev calmly laughs and says "My party brothers, stop being silly. Let's just draw the shades, turn on the gramophone, and pretend we're moving."— Old Soviet Joke Translated by Timur Kolchinskiy

Republicans have been the Party of No since January 2008. It’s been very easy for them to formulate political opinion in this new guise—”Whatever Obama says, we say no, then plug our ears, close our eyes and pretend there was never a black guy elected in the first place”—but it’s been a nightmare for forming actual policy.

We’ve seen it this week when the power of No was so strong on the right side of the aisle Republicans couldn’t even find the modicum of courage necessary to deny assault weapons to people on terror watch lists.

They couldn’t stand up to the NRA for one single vote and deny unnecessary murder machines to all possible terrorists—yes, even the white ones with NRA cards who spend their weekends in camo and balaklavas or draped in Rhodesian flags. But congress’s gun control flaccidity is frankly small time compared to what’s going on in the judicial branch.

The Party of No will continue to defy every iota of common sense (and a majority of the American people) and no one should be surprised at their deadlock as long as it stays up on their Hill and away from the branch of government that’s supposed to be there to check the whimsy of both the legislators and the executive.

On Thursday, the Supreme Court handed down yet another 4-4 split decision. If this many ties had occurred in consecutive Saturday night UFC bouts, there would have been riots in the street by now, but the political establishment and its media wing—despite a full 24 hours a day in which to babble—seem to have settled into a routine about the fact that the Party of No Way A Black Libtard Picks Another One of My Justices has decided to sabotage the Supreme Court.

In addition, 2016 could turn out to be one of the most important years in the court’s existence. Putting aside the nightmare possibility of a repeat of 2000 in which the election goes to a the supremes and the Jackboots go on in earnest when the court fails to make a decision, let’s focus on this week’s tie.

President Obama this week was prevented by the 4-4 deadlock by putting into effect an immigration policy that would have shielded more than four million people from deportation and kept thousands of families together, the vast majority living productive lives and contributing more to the American economy and culture than their Republican legislators, who have only one word to say when it comes to making America great again the way America has always become great—by adding new members to our team. I don’t have to tell you what that word is.

Their response to President Obama’s choice for the Supreme Court, refusing to respect it because it comes from a president their backwards sensibilities tell them is owed no respect, is typical. This deadlocked decision, which means Obama cannot push this legislation through during his term, is exactly what Republicans wanted. As long as they can stall the government, they can draw the shades, turn on the music, and pretend they’re helping America.


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Tim Baker

Tim Baker is a New York-based writer and sometimes editor whose work has appeared in Newsweek, TV Guide, CBS and Discovery Special Editions, and can regularly be found at thrillist.com. He has an MFA in creative writing from The New School and also attended Hunter College of the City University of New York.



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