Police Are Looking for a Dude Who Licked a Stranger's Doorbell for 3 Hours
"I thought I'd seen it all, but this takes the cake," a neighbor told the cops.
Published on January 8, 2019

In one of the stranger local news stories we’ve seen this week, police are looking for a man in California who spent three — THREE! — hours licking a stranger’s doorbell. 

According to ABC13, surveillance cameras captured the “prowler” in oral action, and police used the footage to identified the man as Roberto Daniel Arroyo. While the homeowners were not inside as the dude performed this odd and lengthy act, their children were home sleeping, making the whole thing feel much creepier.

"I thought I'd seen it all, but this takes the cake," a neighbor told KION.

At one point, the door-licker took a break to move an extension cord to the lawn before he took a leak on the grass. It’s unclear why he brought the cord to the front yard, or why he was licking the door in the first place. We started to brainstorm a list of reasons why someone might do such a thing, but ultimately our minds are reeling. PCP? Unclear. Mental health issues? Maybe, but no evidence. Are doorbells actually made of sugar? No. 

Arroyo hasn’t been arrested yet, but police are still looking for him. If charges are pressed, he could face misdemeanors for petty theft and prowling.

"You kind of laugh about it afterwards because technically he didn't harm anybody, he didn't break anything," said one of the homeowners. We’re laughing too, sure, but it’s mostly out of nervousness. The door-licker must be stopped!!

Doug Mann
Doug Mann writes about cannabis and runs a blog documenting his experiments with "dessert nachos." The arthouse film "Half-Baked" was most likely based on the time he accidentally killed a police officer's horse.
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