NEWS
Ohio Man Calls Police Department to Complain That Cops Stole His Weed
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“It was only like 4 grams, but it was really good fucking weed.”
Published on September 6, 2019

When an Ohio man called his local police department this week to report a theft, the responding officer did not follow proper burglary protocol. There was no paperwork filed, no fingerprints taken, or items recovered. That’s because the irate caller was complaining about a missing bag of weed — that he says was stolen by police officers. 

According to a report from Cincinnati.com, the man called the Sharonville Police Department on Tuesday night demanding that he be returned 4 grams of “pristine fucking weed” that he says oficers had confiscated from his wife the night before.

Of course, cannabis possession is still illegal in Ohio. And despite recent decriminalization for 100 grams of weed or less in the city of Cincinnati, the new rules did not carry over to nearby Sharonville. In a recording of the furious call released online by the Sharonville PD, you can hear the upset man trying to claim that the weed was not only legal, but like, really fucking good, man. 

“I had two cops come here last night and steal my fucking weed and I want it back,” the man told the police sargeant. “My wife had my fucking weed in her purse and the motherfucking cops took it. It was only like four grams, but it was really good fucking weed… prestige fucking weed… From what I know 100 grams is cool, right? Or am I wrong?" 

"You are wrong," the officer responded.

After realizing that he had made some grave misjudgments about the breadth of Cincinnati's local decriminalization law, the man clammed up, stopped giving the officer any more personal info, and decided to take his losses. After all, at least confiscated weed is better than ending up behind bars for barely more than an eighth. 

Gallery — Photos of Cops Smoking Weed:

For the Sharonville Police Department, the now-viral phone call has served as not only a bit of comic relief, but as a tongue-in-cheek teaching tool for other confused local cannabis users.

"We feel that some people may be a bit in the weeds, so we would like to take this opportunity to clear the haze," Sharonville police said. "To be blunt, recreational marijuana is still illegal ... per our state law. We don't make the rules; we just took an oath to uphold them. Here in Sharonville, Ohio, 100 grams is not ‘cool.’ Pass it on."

You can listen to a recording of the absurd phone call in its entirety here.

Follow Zach Harris on Twitter

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Zach Harris is a writer based in Philadelphia whose work has appeared on Noisey, First We Feast, and Jenkem Magazine. You can find him on Twitter @10000youtubes complaining about NBA referees.
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