If you ever have the opportunity to eat dinner at one of Mark Zuckerberg’s houses, it might be wise to tell him that you’re a vegetarian. If not, there’s a chance you’ll be served an animal that the Facebook CEO killed himself — in his backyard, with a stun gun.
Zuckerberg’s outlandish yard-to-table dining exploits were revealed by Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey in a Rolling Stone profile published on Wednesday. In the interview, Dorsey said that the social media rival once served him a plate of stun gun-slaughtered goat at a dinner party.
Look, I get that a lot is happening today, but I humbly suggest that we should take a moment to talk about Jack Dorsey telling Rolling Stone that Mark Zuckerberg kills goats in his yard with a stun gun and a knife and serves them to his guests https://t.co/EYKyl3KFu8 pic.twitter.com/RK1HYBNSBM— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) January 23, 2019
The worst part? Zuck didn’t even butcher the animal himself — outsourcing the actual hard work to professionals — and couldn’t figure out how to prepare the dish, eventually serving Dorsey a plate of undercooked goat.
“They stun it, and then he knifed it,” Dorsey told Rolling Stone about Zuckerberg’s hunter-gatherer cosplay. “Then they send it to a butcher. Evidently, in Palo Alto there’s a rule or regulation that you can have six livestock on any lot of land, so he had six goats at the time. I go, ‘We’re eating the goat you killed?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘Have you eaten goat before?’ He’s like, ‘Yeah, I love it.’ I’m like, ‘What else are we having?’ ‘Salad.’ I said, ‘Where is the goat?’ ‘It’s in the oven.’ Then we waited for about 30 minutes. He’s like, ‘I think it’s done now.’ We go in the dining room. He puts the goat down. It was cold. That was memorable. I don’t know if it went back in the oven. I just ate my salad.”
So if you needed any more reminders that tech CEOs are the closest thing we have to Marvel super villains, look no further than Zuckerberg’s willingness to slaughter farm animals in his multi-million dollar suburban mansion. That shit is weird, Mark.
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