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Liquid Death Is a Tallboy Water Brand That Wants to “Murder Your Thirst”

NEWS
Zach Harris
May 9, 2019 03:20 PM PST
Liquid Death Is a Tallboy Water Brand That Wants to “Murder Your Thirst”
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Liquid Death is the teetotaler's answer to PBR that absolutely no one asked for. And at $22 for a 12-pack, we’ll be sticking to the tap, thank you very much.

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Masculinity is extremely fragile, and the proof is in the pudding — or, well, water. 

To wit, when former Netflix creative director and self-described punk Mike Cessario decided to leave his role with the movie streaming overlords to create his own business, there was one consumer hole that he knew he had to fill: water... for dudes.

Enter Liquid Death, Cessario’s new water company selling good ol' H2O disguised as beer in 16-ounce tallboy cans complete with old English font and a melting skull logo. The idea, Cessario told Business Insider, is to appeal to a crowd that the ex-creative director said is ignored by the water industry’s target audience of "Whole Foods yoga moms."

Apparently, Cessario wants his water to be tough. Tough and cool. Cool like people who never drink or do drugs. Channeling the punk community’s decades-old obsession with “straight edge” culture or total abstinence from intoxication, Liquid Death is the teetotaler's answer to PBR that absolutely no one asked for.

Besides the misguided ideas about the beverage preferences of tough dudes and aging punks, it feels necessary to mention that the company’s tagline is “Murder Your Thirst,” a sales pitch that does not inspire confidence in our urinary tracts. 

Of course, none of that has dissuaded the deep-pocketed Silicon Valley investors who recently poured $1.6 million in funding into the aggressive agua. Liquid Death also welcomed venture capital from Dollar Shave Club's founder and CEO, Michael Dubin; Twitter co-founder Biz Stone; and luggage startup Away founder Jen Rubio. The brand now has $2.2 million in investments. Very punk, bro.

Liquid Death is only available online for now, so you’ll have to save it for those BYOB venues. But at $22 for a 12-pack, we’ll be sticking to the tap, thank you very much.

Follow Zach Harris on Twitter


Zach Harris
Zach Harris

Zach Harris is a writer based in Philadelphia whose work has appeared on Noisey, First We Feast, and Jenkem Magazine. You can find him on Twitter @10000youtubes complaining about NBA referees. Contact.



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Liquid Death Is a Tallboy Water Brand That Wants to “Murder Your Thirst”

NEWS
Zach Harris
May 9, 2019 03:20 PM PST
Share this article!
Liquid Death Is a Tallboy Water Brand That Wants to “Murder Your Thirst”

Liquid Death is the teetotaler's answer to PBR that absolutely no one asked for. And at $22 for a 12-pack, we’ll be sticking to the tap, thank you very much.

Lead image via

Masculinity is extremely fragile, and the proof is in the pudding — or, well, water. 

To wit, when former Netflix creative director and self-described punk Mike Cessario decided to leave his role with the movie streaming overlords to create his own business, there was one consumer hole that he knew he had to fill: water... for dudes.

Enter Liquid Death, Cessario’s new water company selling good ol' H2O disguised as beer in 16-ounce tallboy cans complete with old English font and a melting skull logo. The idea, Cessario told Business Insider, is to appeal to a crowd that the ex-creative director said is ignored by the water industry’s target audience of "Whole Foods yoga moms."

Apparently, Cessario wants his water to be tough. Tough and cool. Cool like people who never drink or do drugs. Channeling the punk community’s decades-old obsession with “straight edge” culture or total abstinence from intoxication, Liquid Death is the teetotaler's answer to PBR that absolutely no one asked for.

Besides the misguided ideas about the beverage preferences of tough dudes and aging punks, it feels necessary to mention that the company’s tagline is “Murder Your Thirst,” a sales pitch that does not inspire confidence in our urinary tracts. 

Of course, none of that has dissuaded the deep-pocketed Silicon Valley investors who recently poured $1.6 million in funding into the aggressive agua. Liquid Death also welcomed venture capital from Dollar Shave Club's founder and CEO, Michael Dubin; Twitter co-founder Biz Stone; and luggage startup Away founder Jen Rubio. The brand now has $2.2 million in investments. Very punk, bro.

Liquid Death is only available online for now, so you’ll have to save it for those BYOB venues. But at $22 for a 12-pack, we’ll be sticking to the tap, thank you very much.

Follow Zach Harris on Twitter


Zach Harris
Zach Harris

Zach Harris is a writer based in Philadelphia whose work has appeared on Noisey, First We Feast, and Jenkem Magazine. You can find him on Twitter @10000youtubes complaining about NBA referees. Contact.



The Latest Vids