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Lindsay Lohan Is Bummed Over Brexit

Britain votes to leave the European Union

by Justin O'Connell

Lindsay Lohan’s twitter has been filled with hashtags like #remain, #besmart as the American actress cheered for Britain to stay in the European Union.

She told Britain over Twitter, “good luck with the pound..will take you about 15 years to get it back up” on the social media platform in a live-tweeting of vote results.

In a historic and unexpected move, Britain voted to leave the European Union, which sends the nation into “unchartered territory” and undermines European unity efforts dating back to World War II.

World financial markets dove and investors moved into safe-haven assets such as gold and even bitcoins.

Reuters called what’s to follow “at least two years of messy divorce proceedings with the EU” and called into question London’s role as a global financial capital. Prime Minister David Cameron now faces calls for his resignation.

The Bank of England made no immediate comment. Eurosceptic forces in Britain have effectively revolted against British political leaders, multinationals and foreign leaders like President Barack Obama, who urged Britain to remain a European Union member.

"Dare to dream that the dawn is breaking on an independent United Kingdom," said Nigel Farage, leader of the eurosceptic UK Independence Party, a vocal proponent of leaving the EU in recent years.

The EU is a "doomed project,” he added.

"We're in uncharted territory... Everyone's just really tired,” an aide in Cameron’s office remarked. “They haven't slept."

Scotland voted 62 percent in favor of staying within the United Kingdom. It could press for a referendum to stay in the European Union.

"[The vote] makes clear that the people of Scotland see their future as part of the European Union,” Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon stated.

European politicians didn’t see Brexit coming. "Please tell me I'm still sleeping and this is all just a bad nightmare!" tweeted former Finnish Prime Minister Alexander Stubb.

The 28 member EU will lose one sixth of its total economic output. Britain holds a U.N. Security Council veto. Britain also has a powerful army. Cameron will report the vote to his European partners within days.

Britain joined the European Economic Community (EEC), the original name for the EU, in 1973. It’s always sort of been the Texas of Europe. It opted out of the euro and the open-border Schengen Treaty.

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Lindsay Lohan, Obama, Chinese President Xi Jinping, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, NATO and Commonwealth governments called for a "Remain” vote.

To paraphrase Ms Lohan: “What’s wrong with you Britain??????”


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Justin is a California-based writer who covers music, cannabis, craft beer, Baja California, science and technology. His writing has appeared in VICE and the San Diego Reader.



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