Taking It in the Trump: Everything the President Did Last Week (April 3, 2017) - News | MERRY JANE
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Taking It in the Trump: Everything the President Did Last Week (April 3, 2017)

A rundown of all of the BS committed by the president and his administration in the final days leading up to spring.

by Tyler Koslow

With his inability to unite a Republican-controlled Congress and the ongoing Russian probe breathing down his thick neck, last week was one of the worst yet for Donald Trump and his nefarious administration. While the outcome of the FBI’s investigation into Trump’s ties with Russia remains unclear, the White House has been acting increasingly guilty and erratic. As a swirling shitstorm of alleged treason, deceit, nepotism, and unprecedented ineptitude continues to plague the 45th administration, it’s hard to keep up with avalanche of controversy. Here’s an in-depth recap to get you up to speed before a new week of BS begins.    

Looming Russian Ties Has Trump in a Knot

Republicans Start to Turn on Nunes

  • As hostility rose within the House Intelligence Committee, the council decided to cancel all meetings that were scheduled last week. The announcement has come after Devin Nunes, a ranking member in the council, was caught feeding classified evidence to the White House before his own colleagues.

  • Fellow member of the House Intelligence Committee Rep. Adam Schiff has since called for Nunes to recuse himself from the investigation due to possible collusion with the Trump administration. His calls have been matched by fellow Democratic congress members Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Nunes disregarded the outcry, stating "I'm sure that the Democrats do want me to quit because they know that I am quite effective at getting to the bottom of things."

  • But it’s not only Democrats who are suggesting that Nunes resign from his position, Republican Rep. Walter Jones has stated that the chairman should "absolutely" recuse himself from the panel's investigation into Russia's meddling in the presidential election. Although he was the first GOP Congressman to stand against Nunes, other right-wingers have started to follow suit. South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham has started to question the House Intelligence Committee member’s intentions, stating the Nunes has “lost his ability to lead.” Arizona Sen. John McCain has also chimed in on the sketchy collusion accusations, calling on Nunes to explain why he decided to brief Donald Trump, as well as what sources fed him the classified information.   

Michael Flynn: Immunity Denied

  • At the center of the ongoing Russia investigation is Michael Flynn, the disgraced former national security advisor who was forced to resign from his position after his secret meetings with Russian officials were revealed. This past week, Flynn tried to strike up a deal with Congress, offering to cooperate with the probe in exchange for immunity. But the Senate Intelligence Committee has met his request with skepticism, and ultimately denied his plea for immunity for the time being. Some speculate that Flynn would attempt an Oliver North-type situation.

  • North was a former official for the Reagan administration who threw himself under the bus during the Iran-Contra scandal and was convicted of bribery, destruction of documents, and obstructing a congressional inquiry. But, all of those convictions were overturned due to North being granted immunity in an earlier hearing. It’s clear that Senate Intelligence Committee thinks Flynn could be trying his hand at a similar ploy, but it looks like he won’t be let off the hook that easily.   

  • Ironically enough, while Trump was on the campaign trail, Flynn told NBC’s Meet the Press that people who accept immunity from the federal government “have probably committed a crime.” His remarks were directed at Hillary Clinton’s aides over the investigation into her email debacle, and now those comments have come back to bite him in the ass.    

An Administration Running Rampant with Fear

  • With the Trump administration looking increasingly tied up in the Russia controversy with each passing day, the country is taking note. This past week, Trump’s approval rating reached an all-time low of 35%. Meanwhile, a betting house in the UK has upped the odds of him getting impeached to 56%.

  • On Saturday, the spray-tanned tyrant seemed completely preoccupied by his thoughts, walking out of a public executive order announcement without ever signing his name. Trump stormed off as a reporter started questioning him about Flynn’s plea for immunity. Vice President Mike Pence tried to chase him down, looking like a worn out parent tired of his toddler’s antics. While this is just pure speculation, you can tell by the president’s body language that he is either worried, or simply just way in over his head.

  • While the FBI continues their investigation into the Trump administration, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has been flat out lying to the press, a practice that has come to be expected from the unhinged spokesman. In a fit of frustration, Spicer dismissed questions about the probe by claiming that the intelligence community has found that “there is no connection between the President or the staff here and anyone doing anything with Russia.”

  • In a classic case of deflection, Trump turned to Twitter and called on NBC to stop covering the “phony Russia story.” Instead, he suggested that they report on his baseless claim that Obama wiretapped him during the election.  

  • And if that doesn’t make the White House look bad, allegations have arisen that Trump’s team is frantically purging information for their electronic devices out of the fear that they will be subpoenaed by the FBI. These reports come just weeks after government lawyers ordered the president’s aides to preserve materials that could be connected to Russian interference in 2016 election.

The Health Care Debacle Unfolds

  • After the embarrassing defeat of “Trump Care” at the hands of a GOP-controlled House, reports have leaked that the president didn’t really bother with the reform at all. An anonymous Republican aide admitted that Trump "didn't care or particularly know about health care," despite his efforts to push Congress into approving it. Instead, it seems that the president’s right-hand man and nationalistic overlord Steven Bannon was the one calling the shots. Reports have emerged that Bannon was trying to force Republicans to pass the controversial healthcare bill. "Guys, look. This is not a discussion. This is not a debate. You have no choice but to vote for this bill,” he reportedly said.

  • On the other side of the aisle, America’s most popular politician Bernie Sanders is using the disarray of the right-wing to introduce a “Medicaid-for-all” bill. His proposal would ensure that all Americans receive health insurance, something that every other first world country has in place for their citizens. Although Sanders lost the Democratic presidential nomination, he has been one of the most influential forces for the left, holding town halls in red states across the country to try and win them over.  

Your Internet Privacy was Sold Away by the GOP

  • Meanwhile, while the country has been distracted by the Trump circus, the GOP-controlled House is busy destroying your right to internet privacy. Last Tuesday, Congress sent a bill to Trump that would allow internet providers to sell customer browsing habits, app usage history, location data and Social Security numbers. This cutback would allow your provider to sell off your information directly to marketers, financial firms, and other companies that mine personal data, all without your consent.

  • The move to strip Americans of online privacy has been met with intense scrutiny. A number of crowdfunding campaigns have been launched to raise money in order to purchase the browser history of Congressional Republicans. In fact, Max Temkin, the CEO of the raunchy card game Cards Against Humanity, has vowed to purchase all of Congress’ browser history and publish it if they decide to decimate net neutrality.    

Trump Flees Presidential Responsibility for the Golf Course

  • Despite Republicans constantly ragging on former President Barack Obama for taking too many vacations to the green, they have been largely silent about the fact that Trump is golfing more than a professional in the midst of a PGA tour. Since he was inaugurated (only two months ago), the Commander-in-Chief has evaded responsibility by hitting the golf course a whopping 14 times. At times, Trump and Fox News have even tried to convince his supporters that he's been hard at work in the Oval Office at the same time he was actually practicing his swing.

Stirring Trouble Around the Globe

  • Iraq: Last weekend, in the aftermath of military airstrikes in the Iraqi city of Mosul, the Pentagon admitted to killing more than 200 civilians, including a number of women and children. Iraqi Vice President Osama Nujaifi has described the massacre as a “humanitarian disaster,” while United Nations officials said they were “profoundly concerned” by the destructive attack.

  • Germany: Trump has continued to tarnish the international status of the US with his unsavory ridiculousness, most recently against Germany, one of our closest allies. After claiming that the European country owes the US “vast sums of money” for NATO defense, reports have surfaced that the president handed German Chancellor Angela Merkel a fake $300 billion invoice for 12 years of military defense, plus interest...  

  • Russia: In the midst of the FBI’s probe into Russia, the only country that seems safe from Trump’s tirades, evidence that Putin and his cronies hired 1,000 people to create anti-Clinton fake news stories and distributed them to key states during the election.

  • Rex Tillerson: And lastly, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the oil mogul placed at the helm of handling international relations for the US, has been spending his first weeks isolated from the rest of the world. Not only has Tillerson been skipping out on meetings with the UN, many senior officials within the State Department claim they have yet to even meet him on important matters.      

The Despicable Irony of Sexual Harassment Awareness Month

  • In a pitiful attempt to not look like a raging sack of misogynistic crap, Trump kicked off the new month by declaring April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. This is especially ironic coming from the president, considering that he’s been accused of sexual assault by 12 different women in the past year alone. On top of that, this national month was already put into place by George W. Bush in 2003, making his declaration pretty damn pointless. Apparently, Trump thinks his infamous “grab them by the pussy” remarks have been long forgotten. Don’t worry Donny, we still remember.      


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Tyler Koslow is a Brooklyn-based freelance writer with an intensive focus on technology, music, pop culture, and of course, cannabis and its impending legalization.



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