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What Kingdoms Would Legalize Weed in Game of Thrones?

culture
MERRY JANE Staff
May 20, 2019 05:00 PM PST
What Kingdoms Would Legalize Weed in Game of Thrones?
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Where in Westeros or Essos would you legally be able to find weed? Alternatively, where would you lose a hand for lighting up?

Smoking milky bong-loads of our strongest weed is among our favorite activities, especially before watching Game of Thrones. It makes you feel like you're there, which is what got us wondering: what kingdoms would be 420-friendly and which ones wouldn't? How harsh would the punishments be for smoking weed under prohibitionist rulership? Do dragons smoke weed? 

So, we decided to take seven fat bong rips and theorize which kingdoms in the land of thrones and fire breathing dragons would be the most weed-friendly. 

King's Landing

Home of the Iron Throne and Capital of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, this place is like Amsterdam. It has tons of legal brothels, so you can bet they have legal weed too — but with one exception. If the religious sect known as the Sparrows regained control of King’s Landing, they’d outlaw pot in a heartbeat, along with prostitution. Sparrows suck. But until then, people have a green light to spark up.

Dorne

The southernmost Kingdom in Westeros — lined with miles of tropical beaches — Dorne is basically the Carribean of Westeros. Ganja's so legal there, you get a contact high just roaming around the town. That's how they roll in Dorne!

The Iron Islands and Winterfell

The Greyjoys of the Iron Islands and the Starks of Winterfell are old school. Both Houses are isolated and provincial. The polar opposite of Dorne; pot is outlawed with harsh punishments — such as severing limbs and forcing you down in a bed of snakes just for indulging. We really don't recommend traveling there for Spring Break.

The Citadel 

Ah, the home of the Maesters. These scholars, healers, and scientists definitely support the medical legalization of pot for the treatment of Night King-induced anxiety, Ser Jorah’s greyscale infection, and other gnarly Westerosian conditions. Just be sure to bring your medical marijuana card with you if you plan on purchasing any herb.

The Vale of Arryn 

An isolated Kingdom along the eastern coast, the Vale has a Humboldt county vibe, but with less dreadlocked people. With a strong independent streak and lots of fertile land, they are the main grower and producer in Westeros. People traveling through this Kingdom should watch where they're going and stay away from the black market grow operations. 

Beyond the Wall 

As the home of the Wildings, the Free People bow to no crown or Kingdom. Cannabis isn't illegal ‘cause there ain’t no laws beyond the wall, y’all. So smoke until your heart's radiating. But light up carefully because if someone wants you're weed, they'll yank it straight from your lips and never give it back, since no enforcement is in place to keep people from doing so. 

Astapor

This is one of the Free Cities, famous for training the Unsullied soldiers. Being a militaristic society, travelers should skip visiting this city because they have the harshest weed and drug laws. So, no, Grey Worm doesn't vape.

Qarth

This ancient city in the east of Essos is home to warlocks and merchants. So, obviously, weed is legal here. But only for one purpose: religious and ritual-use by sorcerers. The city’s merchants are the ones who connect the socerers with weed, and damn what a fine plug they are. So unless you're considering a full-on religious conversion to Qarthian sorcery, it's easier to score some weed elsewhere in Essos.

Braavos 

Another one of the Free Cities and home of the Iron Bank, the most powerful financial institution in the world. And it supports full, adult-use legalization. Why? Cause if Kingdoms can tax weed, everyone will have the money to pay back what they owe the Iron Bank. Braavos is all about the Benjamins, baby. Or the Gold Dragons.

The Dothraki

These nomadic, horse-riding warriors live in the grasslands of Essos. And they do whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want. Period. And no one is going to tell them otherwise.

As they say in Westeros, “Valar cannabis — all men and women must smoke weed.”


MERRY JANE Staff
MERRY JANE Staff

MERRY JANE is based in Los Angeles, California and is dedicated to elevating the discussion around cannabis culture. Contact.



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What Kingdoms Would Legalize Weed in Game of Thrones?

culture
MERRY JANE Staff
May 20, 2019 05:00 PM PST
Share this article!
What Kingdoms Would Legalize Weed in Game of Thrones?

Where in Westeros or Essos would you legally be able to find weed? Alternatively, where would you lose a hand for lighting up?

Smoking milky bong-loads of our strongest weed is among our favorite activities, especially before watching Game of Thrones. It makes you feel like you're there, which is what got us wondering: what kingdoms would be 420-friendly and which ones wouldn't? How harsh would the punishments be for smoking weed under prohibitionist rulership? Do dragons smoke weed? 

So, we decided to take seven fat bong rips and theorize which kingdoms in the land of thrones and fire breathing dragons would be the most weed-friendly. 

King's Landing

Home of the Iron Throne and Capital of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, this place is like Amsterdam. It has tons of legal brothels, so you can bet they have legal weed too — but with one exception. If the religious sect known as the Sparrows regained control of King’s Landing, they’d outlaw pot in a heartbeat, along with prostitution. Sparrows suck. But until then, people have a green light to spark up.

Dorne

The southernmost Kingdom in Westeros — lined with miles of tropical beaches — Dorne is basically the Carribean of Westeros. Ganja's so legal there, you get a contact high just roaming around the town. That's how they roll in Dorne!

The Iron Islands and Winterfell

The Greyjoys of the Iron Islands and the Starks of Winterfell are old school. Both Houses are isolated and provincial. The polar opposite of Dorne; pot is outlawed with harsh punishments — such as severing limbs and forcing you down in a bed of snakes just for indulging. We really don't recommend traveling there for Spring Break.

The Citadel 

Ah, the home of the Maesters. These scholars, healers, and scientists definitely support the medical legalization of pot for the treatment of Night King-induced anxiety, Ser Jorah’s greyscale infection, and other gnarly Westerosian conditions. Just be sure to bring your medical marijuana card with you if you plan on purchasing any herb.

The Vale of Arryn 

An isolated Kingdom along the eastern coast, the Vale has a Humboldt county vibe, but with less dreadlocked people. With a strong independent streak and lots of fertile land, they are the main grower and producer in Westeros. People traveling through this Kingdom should watch where they're going and stay away from the black market grow operations. 

Beyond the Wall 

As the home of the Wildings, the Free People bow to no crown or Kingdom. Cannabis isn't illegal ‘cause there ain’t no laws beyond the wall, y’all. So smoke until your heart's radiating. But light up carefully because if someone wants you're weed, they'll yank it straight from your lips and never give it back, since no enforcement is in place to keep people from doing so. 

Astapor

This is one of the Free Cities, famous for training the Unsullied soldiers. Being a militaristic society, travelers should skip visiting this city because they have the harshest weed and drug laws. So, no, Grey Worm doesn't vape.

Qarth

This ancient city in the east of Essos is home to warlocks and merchants. So, obviously, weed is legal here. But only for one purpose: religious and ritual-use by sorcerers. The city’s merchants are the ones who connect the socerers with weed, and damn what a fine plug they are. So unless you're considering a full-on religious conversion to Qarthian sorcery, it's easier to score some weed elsewhere in Essos.

Braavos 

Another one of the Free Cities and home of the Iron Bank, the most powerful financial institution in the world. And it supports full, adult-use legalization. Why? Cause if Kingdoms can tax weed, everyone will have the money to pay back what they owe the Iron Bank. Braavos is all about the Benjamins, baby. Or the Gold Dragons.

The Dothraki

These nomadic, horse-riding warriors live in the grasslands of Essos. And they do whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want. Period. And no one is going to tell them otherwise.

As they say in Westeros, “Valar cannabis — all men and women must smoke weed.”


MERRY JANE Staff
MERRY JANE Staff

MERRY JANE is based in Los Angeles, California and is dedicated to elevating the discussion around cannabis culture. Contact.



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