CULTURE
Weed Detox: How to Pass a Drug Test in 1, 5 or 10 Days
AD
Need to pass a drug test but don’t want to give up the green? Nutra Cleanse has got the gear to get you clear.
Published on July 15, 2019

Marijuana is one of the great joys of life. And drug tests are among life’s biggest bummers. It’s unfortunate that, even in our increasingly weed-friendly times, those opposite spectrum ends still occasionally collide. Alas, it happens. But, if it happens to you — don’t panic.

We do understand that impulse to freak out, though. Truly. Rest assured, though, help is here. Trust us (also trust that it’s 100 percent money back guaranteed).

As a cannabis enthusiast who’s suddenly facing a drug test, it’s natural to sweat over issues like how long THC stays in your system, how deep a given test can go, what supposed “solutions” are legit, and which ones guarantee to leave you dropping dirty (hint: homespun remedies like bleach and vinegar do not work even slightly, and you do not want to get busted attempting to pass somebody else’s urine off as your own — which is highly likely to happen if you go that route).

We’ve been at this crossroads. We’ve smoked over it. Yet, still, when the time came, we passed the pee test for pot with squeaky-clean results. What made that possible was our discovery of the website PassYourTest.com and their line of Nutra Cleanse detox products.

The Nutra Cleanse line offers an array of marijuana detox solutions. There’s the overnight Fail Safe Kit, 5 Day Cleanse Program, and the 10 Day Cleanse for longtime smokers and dabbers faced with the need to eliminate a serious pile-up of THC from their systems.

Undeniably, we fit into the “heavy smoker” category. So it sucked earlier this year the company we wanted to get hired by said they were going to check our piss for dope. The only upside was that we had a couple of weeks before having to aim for the little plastic cup.

Thank Shiva that we discovered PassYourTest.com and immediately ordered the 10 Day Ultra Detoxification Program.

Since body mass is a major factor in a weed detox, and we’re built a lot closer to Action Bronson than Snoop Dogg, it was disconcerting to learn that THC stores in fat cells and builds up over time. But it was reassuring to read that the 10 Day Program is recommended for “anyone weighing 250lbs or more regardless of toxin levels.”

That was good news considering we have the poundage and the proportionate toxin levels to go along with it.

The Nutra Cleanse 10 Day Detox package contains a 10-day supply of both morning and evening capsules, plus one-day supplies of pre-cleanse and post-cleanse capsules.

The box comes with a 13-page digital PDF Complete Cleansing Guide and Meal Plan (which is awesome) and three home testing kits to verify our system was THC-free after completing the program. And it was (which is also fucking awesome).

As a truly great additional feature, Nutra Cleanse offers to send daily email or text reminders to help keep us on track. We definitely opted-in for the reminders, and they worked like a charm.

Prior to the actual drop, we tested ourselves three times and felt good when each one indicated we were toxin-free.

Still, during the moment of truth, handing over the warm container of gross gold was nerve-wracking. So if the program didn’t work, we were ready to immediately take advantage of Nutra Cleanse’s 100 percent money back guarantee.

The minute we found out we tested clean and got the gig, we knew that the pot detox was worth every damn cent. Then, in celebration, we (obviously) spent a whole lot more cents on a fresh stash of sweet green!

Once on the job, we recommended a bud-loving buddy for an open position and immediately sent him the link for PassYourTest.com. Because friends don’t let friends test positive.

This guy is of average size and definitely enjoys vaping wax on the regular. He opted to schedule his drug test a week out and try the Nutra Cleanse 5 Day Extreme Detoxification Program for his detox cleanse.

My homie followed the plan, including the daily reminders (he went old school and chose email), and when he found himself bugging out, he used Nutra Cleanse’s phone and chat support to get immediate guidance. When the five days were up, he tested himself twice before going in for the big corporate whiz challenge.

Just like us, he peed clean and now we’re co-workers. And, make no mistake: we blaze up pretty much every break. 

The pisser in all this is that it’s not like we’re airline pilots or brain surgeons. We’re not working jobs where people’s safety is contingent on another person’s precision and sobriety. We’re IT dudes. The initial drug test is just a stupid company policy left over from the dark ages. Worse still is that rumors are going around that our big biz overlords might want to start random testing.

Even if that happens, though, PassYourTest.com has got us covered—and you, too. Just keep the Nutra Cleanse Fail Safe Kit handy, and you’ll always be able to wee freely.

Described as being for “daily users that want to take absolutely no chance whatsoever and know their toxin levels are high,” the Fail Safe products are 100 percent guaranteed to take effect in 60 minutes and will supply you with clean, testable pee for six hours.

The Fail Safe Kit comes with four Pre-Cleanse Formula capsules, 2.5 ounces of Fast Acting Body Cleanser, and 12 Clean Capsules, along with a Detox Guide and phone and chat support if you need it.

As noted earlier, it’s great that we’re entering a more enlightened period where fewer and fewer companies feel the need to pry your fluids to find out if you use pot (like that’s a bad thing, anyway!).

Until that moment of fully lit liberation, though, keep PassYourTest.com bookmarked, always have a Fail Safe Kit set to go, and should you need to do a complete THC and marijuana detox, just turn to the 5 Day Program or 10 Day Program, whichever best fits your needs.

When you need to pass, these products are guaranteed not to fail.

This article is sponsored by PASSYOURTEST.  For more information, you can visit their site, here.

HOW TO
DRUGS
ADVERTORIAL
DRUG TESTING
MORE...
Mike McPadden
FOLLOW
Mike McPadden is the author of "Heavy Metal Movies" and the upcoming "Last American Virgins." He writes about movies, music, and crime in Chicago. Twitter @mcbeardo
Share this article with your friends!
AD
By using our site you agree to our use of cookies to deliver a better experience.
Accept
Decline
MORE FROM MERRY JANE