I dabbed once. I know that’s nothing special to the majority of the cannabis world, but in New York, a global capital of cannabis enforcement, most of us still do things the old fashioned way. Never mind that smoking is the least healthy way to use cannabis, in New York cannabis has no recognized healthy properties anyway, unless you have cancer. As of 2016, New York has finally allowed terminal cases to use cannabis. Forgive me for not applauding: New York likes to boast of its progressivism and melting-pottedness, but right now out west there’s a state where I can find a right wing militia on federal land with automatic weapons, colorful language and big, fuck-off beards, and without crossing state lines I can also find a storefront where far luckier people than I legally purchase cannabis in a marvel of progressivism in action. Meanwhile in my hometown I’m a criminal every day.