How the BDSM Community Integrates Cannabis Into Kink - Culture | MERRY JANE
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How the BDSM Community Integrates Cannabis Into Kink

“He inserted the base of the vape into my pussy so that the tip was sticking out. He then put his face right up into my crotch and pressed the button and inhaled right out of my vagina!”

by Sophie Saint Thomas

by Sophie Saint Thomas

Lead image by Sara Wass

As a girl who loves both cannabis and kink, I’ve been carefully surveying both worlds, looking for moments where the two meet. As legalization spreads, I’m noticing their paths cross more and more. Organizations such as NSFW, a “digital agency for the adventurous,” are forged in this delightful intersection of vices. NSFW hosts “danquets,” high-end meals of infused delicacies served to guests seated on pillows, as well as exclusive kink events such as their recent Shibari workshop.

Yet 420-friendly kinksters have probably been using weed in their play since the dawn of time. But, how, exactly? While the world is becoming more accepting of both cannabis and kink, much of both communities still exist underground. “69 by 420: Marijuana Kinky,” an aptly named group on FetLife, the kinky social media platform boosts over 20,000 members, but the forum offers anonymity to its members, and you have to go digging to get specifics.

To learn more, I decided to go straight to the source and simply ask fetish-friendly smokers in the community about how BDSM and weed overlap for enthusiasts. I spoke with Mistress Matisse, a professional dominatrix of 20 years who is also a pot entrepreneur. Matisse has created her own cannabis intimacy line, Velvet Swing, and also enhances sessions with clients through the magic of cannabis. Next, I approached NSFW’s Chief Conspirator Daniel Saynt and the agency’s publicist, Melissa Vitale, to ask how they play with pot. As cannabis and BDSM both remain unfortunately stigmatized, I spoke to an anonymous kinky stoner, as well. She told me she likes to be tied up as her dominant vapes out of her pussy. From social clubs and professional dominatrixes, to underground stoner submissives, rest assured that kinksters all over the world are upping the ante of their play with the aid of goddess Mary Jane.

Interviews have been edited for length and clarity...

Image via iStock Photo

Mistress Matisse
Dominatrix, Writer, Sex Worker’s Advocate, and Owner of
Velvet Swing

I explore using cannabis as a tool for my sexual pleasure and fulfillment and for other people’s enjoyment, as well. BDSM is a tool to alter your consciousness. It takes you to a different place, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Pot is just like that. You have to know how to use it, and you have to use it wisely. When used the right way, it’s great tool for play in their mind and their body. What BDSM and pot have in common is that you have to know what you’re doing, you have to proceed with consent, and when done well it’s great. The more tools I have at my disposal, the better.

Generally [my clients] want to smoke a little before the scene starts to help them relax and change their point of view. I sit down with them in a transitional few minutes, and then we begin the scene. It can be hard to just flip in an instant from the real world to Matisse world. I find cannabis really useful for helping people transition to a different headspace. It also helps people relax who want things like intense anal penetration, which is obviously better when you’re not feeling tense.

I’m lucky in that I don’t have to see anyone new anymore. All my [clients] are guys that I’ve seen, in some cases, for almost as long as I’ve been a domme. Negotiating consent with them is fairly easy because we've played together for so long; there’s a lot of trust and I know they’ll be truthful with me. Navigating pot and BDSM together is complicated, but it can be done. The crucial point is discussing what’s going to happen, and how [partners] feel about it, and how it’s going to work.

It’s been an amazing experience; I’ve never had a bad experience [with cannabis and clients]. I have a few rules, though. I encourage people to negotiate sober and then proceed to alter their mind and consciousness. If you’re going to indulge with pot during a session, you have to cab or ride share home; I will not permit you to drive after. I have to make sure that people are safe. Like BDSM, use cannabis's power only for good.

Melissa Vitale
Publicist,
NSFW

The best cigarette you’ll ever have is after a good fuck, but I only smoke spliffs now. I'll use it as part of aftercare [the practice of all parties ensuring the other is well-cared for after sex]. When I’m living in the aftermath of my orgasm, and my thoughts can’t be strung together, the first thing I want is a spliff. It brings me back down to reality and also calms me down and gets me ready for round three or four.

I’ve also been in situations where I want to play out a certain fantasy. Cannabis gives me that moment to get to know someone, share a joint with them, and ease them into talking about limits. For me, going over my soft and hard limits is something I have to be very comfortable with sharing. It’s the same way with aftercare: snuggling, understanding where you are at, and coming back from that euphoria. [Cannabis] is a way to get you comfortable with aftercare. I’ve also simply been in situations where we roll joints during sex. I had one experience where a guy wanted to smoke a joint while he was going down on me, the entire time. Stoned sex is the best sex.

Maxine*

I love having sex high, even when it’s vanilla. But regarding BDSM, one memory, in particular, comes to mind. I'm a submissive, FYI. Using Velcro handcuffs and leg restraints, my male partner tied me up spread eagle to his bed. Obviously, you want to discuss consent with all sexual activities, especially in BDSM scenes, and absolutely when you're adding in a mind-altering substance, so I have to add that we discussed everything we did beforehand.

While I was tied up, he mounted me and face-fucked me, and if I did a good enough job, he'd let me have a puff of a vape filled with indica oil. I'm an anxious girl who only uses indicas. I served him well enough to get several puffs and felt so relaxed. The high helped me submit, relax into the restraints, and allow the bed to simply hold my weight. Weed always helps me be in the moment during sex, but I've found this especially useful while bound, which can be emotionally and physically intense.

Towards the end of the scene, we got a little goofy, and he wanted to get high too. So he inserted [Editor’s note: Don't try this at home. If you're going to insert any cannabis product inside the body, use one created for this purpose, such as Foria] the base of the vape into my pussy so that the tip was sticking out. He then put his face right up into my crotch and pressed the button and inhaled right out of my vagina! Doing so also had an aspect of humiliation play, as I looked pretty ridiculous tied spread eagle with a vape pen sticking out of me.

*Name has been changed to protect anonymity

Daniel Saynt
Chief Conspirator at
NSFW

Smoking weed while getting a blowjob is the best. Using cannabis during sex is so common for me now because I just enjoy it so much — especially during threesomes when you have a third person who can go around and DJ the weed. I’ve been this person, too, where I’m in a threesome, and I’m watching the other two. Recently CBD and THC-infused suppositories have been awesome. It reduces the stress of anal sex. Foria is great; they’re one of the brands that just changes the game when it comes to anal sex. Just being a little high [through inhaling cannabis] also makes anal sex so much better, for me. Regarding bondage, I have used ropes coupled with cannabis. I've had situations where the girl is tied up against a table, and you’re (consensually) giving her weed to smoke as she’s tied up. That’s really hot. It's also just a lot of fun; you can see that great rush that comes through their calm. It can be scary to be tied up. Having the weed and being able to light up just adds to the experience in such a great way. It makes BDSM so much more comfortable and you’re likely to enjoy yourself more.

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Sophie Saint Thomas

Sophie Saint Thomas is a writer based in Brooklyn. She was raised in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along with Merry Jane, her writing has been published in VICE, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Playboy, GQ, Harper's Bazaar and more. Brooklyn Magazine included her on their annual 2016 30 Under 30 Envy List. Her favorite strain of weed is Grand Daddy Purp.



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