Dank for Dads: Father's Day Canna-Gifts That Parents from Any Generation Will Love
This Father’s Day, forget the tie, grill set, or whatever boring present advertisers shove down our throats, and instead invite pop to relive the joy of his youth via generation-specific ganja gifts.
Published on June 14, 2018

Dads are often characterized in a fairly uniform light. There's the dad bod, the football, the grilling, the infatuation with any sort of fast-moving vehicle, land or sea. But in the societal homogenization of the male parent, it's easy to forget that when shopping for Father's Day, your dad is, in fact, an individual. Before getting pigeonholed by the media industrial complexes that be, he was probably a fun-loving man of a certain era. Deep down, he still is.

When it comes to a dad's relationship with cannabis, his generation is of utmost importance. For example, my dad is 85... so weed is bad. Though he struggles with anxiety and sleepless nights, the most I can get him to budge on the issue is a dropper of CBD tincture in a before-bed cup of tea, which many times he has no knowledge of. Though he could benefit greatly from cannabis' myriad medicinal properties, the onslaught of prohibitionist propaganda that inundated his young adult life throughout the '50s and '60s has all but decimated that possibility.

Then consider a slightly younger dad. A dad who partied in the '70s, if you will. This dad is well acquainted with drugs, and might even have listened to Sabbath. Despite whatever path his adult life has led him down, he'll likely smoke a joint in the garage with you once sufficiently drunk.

Cannabis, in whatever form, is an amazing gift because it gives the gift of fun, a mini-vacation at a fraction of the price. This Father's Day, forget the tie, grill set, or whatever other boring present advertisers shove down our throats each year, and invite him to relive the joy of his youth with one of these carefree, generation-specific canna-gifts.

For the American Dreamer Dad...
Kin Slips "Park Life" CBD Sublinguals

American Dreamers, typically Baby Boomers and holdouts from the Silent Generation, thought they had it all figured out. Working as young adults in the post-WWII era, they ascribed to a set path they had no idea would eventually backfire. Married young, two kids, a mortgage, a steady job, canned food prepared by a wife who was secretly on speed — ahhhh, what a life.

People from this generation often look back fondly, conveniently fogging over the racism, sexism, and lies spouted constantly by the powers that be. Unfortunately, what's done is done. Trust me when I say this: most dads from this era do not like weed. To calm the older dad in your life, enter Kin Slips "The Park Life." These all-natural sublingual slips offer 10mg of CBD, the perfect amount to take away the rage experienced on the daily at the ever-changing world around them, in a mango-turmeric flavor your older dad will not love nor understand but tolerate.

Since they dissolve quickly, these babies kick in in about 10-15 minutes. While normal edibles, like cookies or brownies, are often distorted by the stomach and broken down by the liver, thus taking forever to work, sublinguals are pulled straight into the bloodstream. Next time your American Dreaming dad is freaking out over the Apple TV or complaining about a physical ailment du jour, hit 'em with a Kin Slip Park Life and watch as they slide back into a happier time of big band music and economic growth.

For more on Kin Slips, visit the company's website here

For the Hippie Dad...
Jet Subzero Waterpipe

Assuming many people reading this are orbiting the older end of the millennial generation, the ex-Hippie dad is a much more common parent type. Depending how far down the corporate road he's traveled, you might not even know he spent one summer following the Dead, or used to smoke weed in a van in lieu of attending P.E. class. Signs your dad may be an ex-Hippie include having a tiny hidden stash box consisting of ashes and a half-smoked joint hidden in his sock drawer, a single, tattered Phil Lesh shirt he's never worn in front of you, a burning hatred of the Trump administration, and the tendency to perk up when someone mentions the possibility of a Pink Floyd reunion tour.

If this is sounds familiar, your dad secretly knows his way around a bong, and may even have a filthy one hidden somewhere in or near a toolbox. This Father's Day, take him back to a hazy heyday with his own personal "Box of Rain," Jet's Subzero Waterpipe. What sets these bongs apart from lesser fare is the way the smoke passes through the water. Literally designed by former NASA engineers, Jet pipes work by sending smoke into a high-velocity cyclone filter, where suspended ash is removed from the air. The smoke is split into hundreds of micro-bubbles, each filtering through the water, producing an incredibly smooth hit. Also, since the bong is made out of polycarbonate instead of glass, his bong won't shatter, though his concept of them may.

For more on Jet's Subzero Waterpipe, visit the company's website here

For the Disco Dad…
Gramsly Box

If your dad was ever into disco, it's highly unlikely he would tell you. Not only is it an embarrassing look, it implies all kinds of debauchery — the platform-wearing, cocaine-sniffing kind one would never want their child to associate themselves with. However, if you've ever come across a tattered VHS of Saturday Night Fever, a photo of your dad in shoes with heels above two inches, or bell bottoms whose radius rivals that of his waist, you might have an Disco Dad on your hands. While this may come as a shock, the silver lining is that your dad is, deep down, open minded as fuck. Thus, he deserves a Father's Day gift that will titillate what is sure to be a latent curiosity with the wild new weed products we so enjoy.

For this dancefloor warrior, we have the Gramsly Box. The gift that keeps on giving, Gramsly is a monthly subscription box consisting of CBD products. Every month the content of the box changes, but will always consists of one CBD tincture or capsule product, one topical balm or CBD salve, and one CBD edible. Though cannabis-derived CBD is still illegal, Gramsly utilizes CBD derived from industrial hemp, which is fair game to ship. So no matter how conservative your disco-loving parent has become, or what post-Studio 54 transitions they've dealt with, there's no need to fear, Gramsly is here.

For more on Gramsly, visit the company's website here

For the Eighties Kingpin Dad…
Mezz Pen

For our younger readers, we have the canna-gift tailored to the kind of dad who is, in my mind, loosely depicted in The Wolf of Wall Street, or any other '80s film of excess. The dad I'm talking about is a corporate dad, a wealthy dad, one that appreciates a properly-branded product. He's to-the-point, high-strung, and loves a good cocktail. While not interested in weed in its traditional form, he may be secretly looking into whatever is hot, new, and legal.

For a savvy dad thriving under the flourescent lights of the Reaganite '80s, we have the meticulously-branded Mezz Pen. Named after Milton "Mezz" Mezzrow, a jazz musician whose plug supplied Harlem with its best hash for much of the '30s, Mezz has built a cohesive brand around its namesake. With cartridges available in Mellow (50/50 THC to CBD), Inspire (60/40 THC to CBD), Up Tempo (70/30 THC to CBD), and Gold (90/10 THC to CBD), tailor your gift to whatever your go-getting dad needs. And for his sake, don't forget to stress this pen's brand identity, product packaging, and, of course, include their hashtag in gift presentation, #mezzlife.

For more on Mezz, visit the company's website here

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Lindsay MaHarry
Lindsay MaHarry is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in Vice, The Observer, Bullett, Gawker, Fanzine, and others. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
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