Why, hello there, traveller! I hope you’ve voted by now, or are making plans to do it in person on Tuesday. If you have, go ahead and celebrate with these political GIFs I rounded up for you last month. I already voted by sending spiritual light beams into the sky for Hillary. Not that it matters, I’m not a U.S. Citizen. I’m not even a citizen of Earth.
If we haven’t met before, we should. I’m an old, genderless, wizard that lives in a dark corner of the universe where I (and my gnomes) guard my fortress of GIFs. I’m also a huge Cubs fan! What? I like sports teams, even if I don’t totally understand the laws of Earth gravity. The Cubs interest me particularly, because they, like me, have been under a magic curse for the last 108 years.
But last week, the curse was finally broken! Now, let’s use my GIFs to examine the history of that curse.
Let’s go back to 1908, when the Cubs were on top of the world after winning the World Series by beating the Detroit Tigers 4-1.
Not that it was quite this friendly…but what a time to be alive! Teddy Roosevelt was president (and probably killed bears and tigers for sport), Anne of Green Gables was a bestseller, and America had just seen the first Model T cars hit the streets!
Then came the Dark Ages. In 1945, Billy Goat Tavern owner William Sianis brought his pet goat, named Murphy, to Game 4 of the World Series.
Nowadays us Cubs fans aren’t even allowed to bring our own beer, much less our own livestock. Bystanders were (understandably) offended by Sianis’ goat and its odor.
Security was called.
And both the goat and Sianis were ejected from the ballgame. While making his walk of shame, Sianis delivered these famous parting words: “Them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more!” This, of course, was deemed as a Greek curse.
Though the Cubs had already gone 37 years without winning a World Series, this curse ended up being all too real. In 1969, during the pennant against the New York Mets, a stray black cat walked between team captain Ron Santo and the dugout. The Cubs lost shortly after.
A goat AND a black cat???
Not now, Harry Caray! During the 1984 National League Championship, a ground ball was missed due to first baseman Leon Durham’s mysteriously wet (and Gatorade-covered) glove. To this day, nobody knows how the glove got wet.
Of course, in 2003, during the eighth inning of Game 6 of the National Championship Series, the curse famously reared its ugly head again. When the Marlins hit a foul ball into the stands, Cubs fan Steve Bartman tried to catch it, preventing outfielder Moises Alou from making the grab and the out.
It didn’t exactly cost them the game, but the Cubs were four outs away from winning their first pennant since 1945 and failed to. For over a decade, fans unreasonably blamed Bartman and gave him hell.
Finally, during the National League Championships against the Mets in 2015, the curse had one final bout of creepiness. Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy helped New York sweep the Cubs and keep them out of the World Series by becoming the first person ever to hit a home run in six straight playoff games.
Murphy, as you remember, was also the name of Sianis’ goat.
Fans joked that Daniel Murphy was not the first G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time) to stop the Cubs from advancing to the series.
On Thursday night, the Cubs had another chance to finally break the curse in Game 7 of the World Series, after battling back from down 3-1 to the Cleveland Racist Logos (boo!).
Despite a serious rain delay…
...several gut-wrenching ties, and LeBron James’ stadium presence…
...the Cubbies finally broke the curse, defeating the Cleveland Indians 8-7 in extra innings of what is arguably the greatest game of baseball ever played! And we did it with a smile on our face.
On all our famous faces.
We’re still jumping for joy!
Billy goat be damned, we did it, Chicago!
And now, I can die in peace.
Not that I can die. I’m immortal. But since I’ll be here awhile, will someone please explain to me WTF a “hot dog” is?