The Best Way to Catch Up with an Ex Is Over a Pot of Cannabis Coffee
There was no bitchy barista or coworking kids in a coffee shop to interrupt our time together, and neither of us got too fucked up, said something dumb, or cried.
Published on November 9, 2017

Catching up with an ex over coffee is so much more fun when there's weed involved. People who know what's good for them have understood the pleasurable coupling of coffee and cannabis long before you could obtain weed-infused coffee in the US. Once upon a time, the pairing was legally limited to puffing on a joint while sipping a cup of joe in an Amsterdam coffee shop. Today, however, you can find a myriad of cannabis-coffee fusions, from Ganja Grindz to Therapy Tonic's cannabis-infused espresso (among many others). 

Personally, I'm a sucker for Stillwater Clockwork Coffee, a 100 percent Colombian instant coffee that contains 5mg of THC and 5mg of CBD per serving. When I first discovered the brand, it felt like when Freddie Mercury and David Bowie joined forces to sing "Under Pressure." Two of my loves, coffee and cannabis, had come together to pleasure me. I'm a lightweight with edibles, so 5mg is an ideal dosage, although if you're interested in experiencing in a more intense experience, Clockwork also makes a 10mg coffee variety.

Now that I had my weed coffee, all I needed was the right company to share it with. My former partners fall into two categories. If they treated me like shit, I'm happy never seeing them again. However, if they're a decent person, and things didn't work out between us romantically due to timing or lifestyle difference rather than disrespect, I enjoy having them in my life as friends. I'm of the mindset that while it's healthy to cut ties if you were hurt or still have feelings, if both parties are all good and enough time has passed, exes can maintain a relationship without any bad blood. It's unnecessary to dispose of a person whose company you enjoyed simply because things didn't work out in one form of relationship. So, I invited my ex-boyfriend over, whom I'll call Wolverine, to catch up with a side of weed coffee.

Wolverine and I were already on good terms. I've known him for years, so I trusted that it was safe to have him in my home. We hugged and I boiled water to prepare two 5mg cups of weed coffee. You just pour the packet in, add milk and sugar as desired, and stir. We spent the next three hours sitting on my couch, slowly sipping the warm beverage. Catching up with an ex tends to fall into two liquid categories: coffee or drinks. The upside of meeting in a coffee shop is that you can maintain a professional demeanor and strict boundaries. The downside is that it's boring. The upside of drinks is that alcohol is such an inhibitor that the encounter will be less awkward. The downside is that if you overindulge, you're more likely to either have sex with your ex or start crying. I don't drink alcohol, but I'm all for mind elevation as a means of connection. For me, combining our catch up with cannabis coffee was an ideal solution. The Wolverine and I didn't have drunk sex, no one cried, and overall it was anything but a stale experience. Rather, we had a deep and interesting conversation filled with laughter that reconnected us while getting properly stoned. 5mg is the perfect edible dosage to catch up with an ex — it's enough to enjoy a shared mind-altering experience, but responsible enough not to catch paranoia or go too deep into the abyss.

Compared to an edible such as a gummy or a chocolate that you gobble down in a couple bites, you can chill on a cup of coffee. Plus, the caffeine buzz balances out the stoned sensation delightfully. Drinking weed is dope, in general, and there are cannabis sodas on the market such as root beer if you're not a coffee person. And unlike alcohol, cannabis adult beverages let you keep your head on straight. Remember though, be careful with your dosing. Weed can still mess with your ability to act chill or give consent when not used responsibly.

Stillwater's coffee, like most edibles, creeps up on you. After the first 30 minutes to an hour you may feel a slight buzz, but just wait until the second and third hour hits. And if you happen to be catching up with an ex over the cannabis coffee, block out an entire afternoon. Even after three hours together, when we went our separate ways for the night, I was quite stoned. Do not follow my lead and have your ex over for a pot of joe (get it?) in your home unless you are sure that you can trust this person. If there's any doubt in your mind that things might get creepy or uncomfortable, stick with regular coffee and catch up in person. While this wasn't my fate, sitting in a closed, private room with someone you used to sleep with can trigger paranoia and metastasize into an experience no one deserves.

If you are sipping weed with an ex — or anyone that you are interested in having sex with, for that matter — only consume a micro dose, so your ability to give consent is not affected. Of course, there's nothing wrong with getting blazed and getting it on with someone you trust, but it's always safest to start slow — even 5mg can be too much for some. For your first weed drinking experience, I'd share a cup of the 5mg or try Stillwater's 2.5mg tea. For the Wolverine and me, catching up over a cup of 5mg cup of weed coffee was exactly what our relationship needed. At the end, I gave him a big bear hug goodbye and will be seeing him again soon. There was no bitchy barista or coworking kids in a coffee shop to interrupt our time together, and no one got too drunk, said something dumb, spewed tears, or puked. If that's not a sign that we've both grown up since we were romantically involved, I don't know what is.

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Sophie Saint Thomas
Sophie Saint Thomas is a writer based in Brooklyn. She was raised in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along with Merry Jane, her writing has been published in VICE, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, High Times, Nylon, Playboy, GQ, Harper's Bazaar and more. Brooklyn Magazine included her on their annual 2016 30 Under 30 Envy List. Her favorite strain of weed is Grand Daddy Purp.
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