Some things just leave a bad taste in your mouth. For restaurant critics, this is a more literal feeling. No matter how highly rated the chef, elegantly plated the food, or experimental the cuisine, it’s impossible to please everyone. But, when a person who makes their living judging and tasting dining experiences decides that your food sucks, restaurateurs beware. The Internet thrives on the scathing quips, witty takedowns, and savage descriptors that come with negative reviews. Here are the most hilariously awful restaurant reviews in recent history. Enjoy the schadenfreude and congratulate yourself on staying home, getting stoned, and eating your own grilled cheese (or something healthy if, for some strange reason, that’s your thing). It’s probably better than any of these dishes, and costs a whole lot less.
Because sometimes crap eateries and their food deserve worse than a low rating.
Claire Downs is a writer and comedian based out of Los Angeles. She's written for Nickelodeon, VH1, Funny or Die, and Hello Giggles. You can follow her on Twitter @clairecdowns. She prefers Indica to Sativa, in case you're wondering.