There’s a smoking accessory out there for everyone in this big brave world of ours. Whether you’re shopping for that perfect gag gift or simply looking for ways to express your inner quirk to your stoner friends, these novelty bongs will inspire your high and become your BFF. Just be sure to take good care of your bong and it will keep taking care of you.
The JBD Nucleus Bong
Jerome Baker Designs’ Nucleus Bong is made from uranium glass by a talented team of artists at the infamous Makai Glass Studio in Maui, Hawaii. This immense sculpture glows under a UV light, weighs over 60 pounds, and stands over 3-feet tall with a 14-inch base. A tribute to Bob Snodgrass, the godfather of artistic hard glass in the United States, this legendary piece symbolizes the glass-making movement. It’s truly a sight to behold.
The Pineapple Bong
We’ve all seen the apple pipe, and if you’re like me, you recently discovered the banana pipe, but what about the pineapple bong? A symbol of friendship and hospitality, this delicious and exotic fruit creates a festive smoking apparatus. For an especially tasty hit, try using pineapple juice in place of water. I’d like to think this is something Hunter S. Thompson would have concocted during his Rum Diary phase.
The Phallic Bong
When I told all my friends I was going to graduate school to become a sex therapist, my perverted accessory collection began to expand. The first item I received was a penis-shaped bong. It’s all fun and games until you find yourself in a situation where you actually need to smoke out of it. However, Amanda Seyfried smoked one like it was her business in last year’s hit comedy Ted 2, making it totally cool and giving us all something to aspire to.
The Eyce Ice Bong
Breaking a bong is never fun. Solution: a water pipe made of ice. Everything you need to build this frozen weed delivery system comes in the kit: stand, mouthpiece, core pin, stem, and silicone mold. Add food coloring, essential oils, glitter, or fruit to embellish your frosty session. Store it in your freezer or smash it when you’re finished for shock value. Next time your friends need to chill out, you’ve got the answer.
The Gas Mask Bong
If whips and chains are in your bag of tricks, you’ll be right at home with this domineering smoking device strapped to your face. Allow submission to set in as THC seeps into each pore, saturating every square inch of breath. This bong is not for the faint of heart. Thanks to the adjustable head straps, hits are inescapable. And unless you want perma-red-eye, keep your lids closed. Some stoners recommend wearing swimming goggles underneath the mask for protection. Plus, it’s trippy to watch the mask fill up with smoke.
The Coffee Mug Bong
Made famous in Joss Whedon's 2012 horror-comedy The Cabin in the Woods, this super stealthy and sleek water pipe looks like one of those stainless steel travel mugs you may pick up at your local mall’s Sharper Image. However, upon closer inspection, it transforms into a sophisticated smoking accoutrement for you and your crew.