Among the mountain of discarded Hot Pocket wrappers and empty vials of 5-Hour Energy Drinks you’ll find your average stoned gamer, plugging away at some Xbox achievement while they methodically roast their dab rig nail on a Saturday morning. Of course you don't have to be some degenerate college kid or live in your parents’ basement to be considered a stoned gamer (and if you are, more power to you). If you've been zooted while waiting for the bus and drummed on your phone at Candy Crush; you're a stoned gamer. Heck, even if you've been high in Vegas and spent your entire month’s rent on a hand of Blackjack you clearly can't afford, you're also a stoned gamer. A stoned gamer on the verge of eviction, but still a stoned gamer nevertheless.
Gaming is generic, but to game under the enrichment of marijuana is an experience that is unparalleled. It's the equivalent of a samurai wiping the blood off his sword after he's just lopped some guy’s head off. Alright, maybe it's not like that. I just needed an excuse to use ‘samurai’ in a MERRY JANE article because it's never been done before -- and samurais don't get enough play these days.
Maybe you've heard of TheStonedGamer.com or even participated in one of our Stoned Gaming Tournaments that we’ve held in California. If you have, it's great seeing you again. If not, what cave have you been living in? You could have gone home with one of these.
Perhaps you know me from my time at High Times Magazine, specifically the 'Spaced Invaders' feature I wrote, which ended up being the biggest gaming article ever written in the magazine's history. In it, I investigated the world of big AAA gaming and found that while companies like Activision, Rockstar, and Deep Silver Volition enjoy exploiting your love for marijuana, they view the cannabis industry like some cancerous undergrowth that must be avoided at all costs. It was an eye-opening exposé, and it let stoned gamers around the world know exactly what their favorite gaming companies truly thought about them.
MERRY JANE and The Stoned Gamer have teamed up to deliver some stellar content to your little eager pothead hearts, starting with a weekly column that will take you on a journey through time and space -- and when it's all done we promise to drop you off safe and sound, just in time for your next Halo 5 Warzone match.
We know you're fed up with mundane videogames review articles and the meaningless rating systems that come with such uninspired nonsense. That's why we vow to never to review a single game on MERRY JANE. We know your attention span is short, so is ours. Therefore we won't waste your time. Instead, every week we'll bring you stuff that matters to stoned gamers. Mind bending indie games with free downloads exclusive to MERRY JANE. Interviews with developers that are trying to create virtual reality experiences that replicate DMT. Basically what we're telling you is if you're a stoned gamer, Tuesday is now your new favorite day.