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DEA Hiring Drivers to Haul Marijuana Confiscated at Mexican Border

Applicants must be armed and unafraid to die.

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While the majority of the nation is busy trying to legalize marijuana for medical and recreational use, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, now under the supreme guidance of U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, are hoping to recruit a handful of flunkies to help them dispose of weed creeping up in Uncle Sam’s garden.

According to Mass Roots, the DEA recently posted a job listing in attempt to round up a team of transportation professionals to assist the agency in hauling “Bulk Marijuana and Other Hazardous Waster Materials.” These positions in Houston, El Paso, and Phoenix would require drivers to move marijuana confiscated at the Mexican border to local field offices, where it would be processed for evidence in criminal prosecutions.

Of course, the position requires drivers to pack heat, as it is distinctly possible that these repossessed loads could be tracked by their owners -- drug cartels -- who are almost certain to force transport security to shoot it out in the streets should they resist handing the drugs back over.

A similar job posting published last September repeated use of the term “armed” throughout the document should be enough to stress the need for firepower when acting as a wheeled accessory to the War on Drugs.

“The Contractor shall provide fully trained, armed and outfitted persons to load and unload large amounts of pre-packed bulk marijuana (bales weigh an average of 20 to 60 pounds each) and other incidental controlled substances at BP Stations and law enforcement departments,” the labor description reads. “The duties of the armed personnel required under this contract, henceforth called Lead Transportation Security Officers (LTSOs) and Transportation Security Officers (TSOs), are described herein. The term “Lead Transportation Security Officer” means an armed person designated in writing by the Contractor who will be the Contractor’s authorized representative for technical and administrative performance of all service required under this contract. The term Transportation Security Officers is defined as an armed person assigned to load, unload, and secure pre-packaged bulk marijuana and other incidental controlled substances in performance of this contract. A team of three to six contractors shall be utilized for each transportation event, based on the size of the load.”

In fact, the DEA is so sure its transport people are going to encounter violence on the job that the agency requires contractors to be licensed to carry firearms and they even go as far as to provide applicants with a list of the best weapons to use for combatting Cartel headhunters.

Applicants must be at least 21-years-old and possess a high school diploma or GED. They must also have military or law enforcement training.

Anyone interested in a suicide mission can apply here.


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