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California Man Busted Smuggling Marijuana Disguised as Christmas Presents

Bah-humbud! The Ghost of Christmas Future predicts man could face prison.

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Although it may seem like the appropriate time of year when moving large shipments of marijuana across the United States disguised as Christmas presents might be the prefect crime, law enforcement in prohibition states have apparently become privy to this seasonal transport trick and are now fully prepared to bring Santa’s little smugglers up on federal drug trafficking charges.

Just ask 31-year-old Daniel Yates, a California man who was picked up recently by the Ohio Highway Patrol for traveling with over $300,000 worth of marijuana packed in boxes covered in holiday gift wrap.

It seems that Mr. Yates had it all figured out – he would drive across the country with a shit ton of weed stowed in the back of his SUV cloaked in a veil of Christmas cheer, and then simply tell the cops that he was on his way to see his family for a holiday visit if he happened to get stopped. But the one thing he didn’t count on was the weakness of his nerves.

Reports indicate that the boys in blue spotted Yates cruising down the Interstate somewhere in Ohio and decided to pull him over for following too closely behind another vehicle. It is at this moment that Yates probably started to unravel, and by the time the officer approached him, his body began to quake like a frightened animal, crippling his ability to even maintain a steady hand.

Of course, as soon as the officer noticed that Yates was on the verge of soiling his pants right there in the middle of traffic, he grew suspicious of his actions and inquired whether or not he was riding with anything illegal. By that time, the quiver in his hands had infiltrated his vocal cords, making it impossible for him to offer a reply without sounding guilty.

Eventually, a drug dog was called out to assist officers in shaking Yates down along the highway, which led to the discovery of a large variety of cannabis products, including 71 pounds of marijuana, 360 THC capsules, and a pound of hash oil – all of which was stashed in boxes covered in “Snowman” and “Buddy the Elf” designed wrapping paper.

Unfortunately for him, Yates was arrested and charged with marijuana possession and drug trafficking, offenses that could land him in prison for the next 16 years. There is also a real possibility that he will get slapped with a fine significant enough ($30,000) to ensure that he ends up in the black market drug trade, once again, immediately following his release.