Mother Knows Best: Why Is Cereal the Number One Stoner Snack?

Dear Mother,

Help me settle an ongoing argument between friends: What is the best snack to eat while high?

— Hungry Hungry Hippo

Dear HHH,

I'm so glad you asked! I actually just happened to finish what I feel is the ultimate in stoner snacks: cereal. Sit back, perhaps grab a bowl of your favorite kind and let me explain why cereal is the best snack when it comes to the munchies.

First, let's take a quick look at the science behind getting the munchies. Basically, the THC in cannabis stimulates your endocannabinoid system, which can, in turn, release a hormone that makes you feel super hungry even if you're full. And, your body — thanks to evolution — will focus on high-fat and high-calorie food in order to satiate your feelings of hunger ASAP. That's why a juicy cheeseburger and fries will (always) be way more appealing than a kale salad.

So why cereal? Cereal is the best stoner snack for many reasons:

It's cheap and readily available. Most folks already have the fixins for cereal in their kitchens. You do not need to go to a speciality store to get any ingredients for it, and if you do need to pop out for either cereal or milk, you can pick either up for cheap anywhere, from your local grocery store to the nearest gas station or convenience store.

There are so many types to choose from. You never quite know what will hit the spot when you're high. Maybe you want something super sweet and fruity. Froot Loops has you covered! Craving chocolate? Bust out the Cocoa Krispies (not only will you enjoy the cereal, but you'll be able to drink some chocolate milk in the end, obviously).

There's something for everyone. Have a gluten allergy? Eat some Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Corn Chex or Frosted Flakes! Have a nut allergy? Just steer clear of Honey Nut Cheerios and Honey Bunches of Oats. Vegan or dairy free? Instead of cow's milk, there's an array of options to choose from: Rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, and even hemp milk all pair beautifully with cereal when you're stoned. Even if you're being difficult and only eating Paleo, there are cereal options for you to choose from!

It's easy to make. Listen, do you really think that the best time to try that new fancy recipe that requires over 15 ingredients (many that require chopping with a sharp knife), a double boiler, and an hour of prep work, is when you're high? I don't. Simplicity is key. Even using a toaster oven while high can come with burn risks. With cereal, it's as easy as pouring and eating. Pour the cereal. Pour the milk. Eat. Voila! For the adventurous among us, go wild. Pop your cereal in the microwave for 45 seconds to give it a little warmth or make some oatmeal.

All the cool kids eat cereal. In addition to Ryan Gosling above (though I can't confirm how stoned or sober he was while eating it), cereal and stoners have gone together like peas and carrots. You've seen cannabis friendly folks consuming the food of the gods in movies and TV shows like Pulp Fiction, Ted, Friday, Smiley Face, Friends, and more.

I mean, my ladies on Broad City wouldn't steer me wrong, would they?